Transcript:
Well, well, well. Welcome back to another day, another podcast. Perhaps I was gone for a little while, but look who’s back. I actually decided to do something else outside of podcasting because there’s so many things for you to consume. I have given you enough things to listen to absorbed and apply into your life and sometimes I think the more you absorb things and you apply in your life that is how the transformation actually going to work in your life. In this lifetime we have so many talkers, we have so much inventors, creators, we are very confused of who to listen to.
We have wrong voices, many opinions. And if you’re not very careful, you thought that because the person can talk to your ear and can smooth talk their way into your nasal and your throat, you thought that you have actually listened and guided by the wise person.
And that is why sometimes stepping outside and being in the world into the outside world where the whole universe is actually still working. Maybe at the restaurant, eating out and delivering some door dashing.
Sometimes you learn about experiences along the way. You have somehow miss the interaction of real people. When you have been consuming your time, being alone in your room, sometimes you just lost touch of reality. But when you’re out there, you realize that there are so much more to life than podcasting.
Of course, I love YouTube and social media still because that’s exactly what I like to earn a passive income. But sometimes when we are too consumed with our own time, we’re just too focused on our work and we have our head down, we realize that the world is composed with many, many experiences such as meeting different people, talking with strangers, and it actually invigorates you in a deeper level.
It actually creates a little bit of this awareness in your head that you must sometimes step out of your comfort zone and to be in touch with the reality that there’s another world out there not just being browsing on the internet.
I think due to the COVID 19 that happened in 2020 we somehow been conditioned to be isolated to be conditioned to just being not with a community or surrounding with people that we truly crave for. We think that we’re connected just because we have 500 likes and we have a lot of you know subscribers on YouTube channel. We think that we are a very connected people. But time and time again it made me realize we are more disconnected now more than ever. We have now exchanged connection with browsing and connection with shallow superficial snapshot that’s going to last for probably 5 seconds and posting it.
And we call it connection when in fact it’s called disconnection because when I truly went outside again for the very first time for a long time. Because I was so busy trying to embody a new version of myself. I was too busy creating that I have missed this connection with real people, not with my phone and not with the screen. Because a genuine connection is truly talking to people stranger having discussion with them talking about whatever maybe simply saying hi, hello, goodbye. Do you have an order today? Thank you for waiting.
I mean these are casual conversations that I think somehow we have forgotten how meaningful it is until you have actually not been in that kind of arena and the moment.
You just somehow decided one day you know what let me just change my routine let me see how it goes if I step out of my comfort zone and being in my isolation season and go outside and really touch for the first time what it is that I’ve been missing because as I said co 19 have truly made us more isolated than ever depressed sad and lost of the reality and there are too much going on.
But the excitement, the energy, that’s what I miss when you try to be outside of your comfort zone.
ou are trying to immerse yourself with people that you don’t even know while eating at the restaurant or waiting the order while you’re door dashing.
You miss you miss that vibrant energy, the energetic that collectively sometimes it’s messy.
Sometimes you feel as though you don’t belong to the room. But because you are going to just be in it anyway. I think for majority of people who are always trying to change their environment, they are the ones who grow.
You can never grow in isolation. Sometimes you cannot grow with the same complacency.
You cannot grow in a place where it becomes familiar. Familiarity breeds contempt. When you’re too familiar with the same environment, you get stuck. And somehow, when you get stuck, your creativity becomes stagnant.
For many of us who are who like to create, invent things, very curious spirit. This is why it’s important for you to step outside of your comfort zone and to be just where people are. to understand that connection is not necessarily being friends with them and being your best friend.
But it’s about truly coming back to the basic of communicating what it feels like to be in that environment of talking to real people instead of talking to a screen instead of really just trying to post a smiley face on your Facebook or freaking YouTube. And you call that connection even though it’s shallow to begin with, but true genuine connection which I truly missed. It reminds me that that’s exactly why people today are more lost than ever.
They are more depressed and we are more seeing a lot of people that are just very forlorn. They feel as though they are longing for something deeper than just a shallow connection. Even a smile from a hostess welcoming you as you enter the room, picking up your food and being delivered and saying thank you or you’re welcome.
These are little gestures as a society collectively that we have forgotten because as I said we have been conditioned for a long time that just because you spend hours and days posting on Instagram and curating your life for the whole world to see we think that is true authentic rawness connection. But in fact, when you talk to people and you feel the emotion and you talk to them and they’re coming from you and they’re actually genuinely want to see you and very happy that you’re in the same room with them, that is more than just worth the post because that is a real life experience.
The beauty of not having social media back then
And I think I am a person who missed that because I was never really a person that had social media in high school. Thank God we didn’t have any social media then. We didn’t have any kind of craving for attention in my generation. We didn’t have the kind of I need to post this because of what I’m eating. I need to impress. Those were the days that people really just were connected. We were into music. We were into fashion. And that was something I was actually missing.
And when I step outside of my comfort zone recently, because maybe you were wondering what happened to her. she has not stopped, you know, she has stopped producing podcast Mondays and Thursdays because as I said, there’s a time when you could no longer absorb so much information that you just have to go outside and smell the coffee beans and smell the roses and stop and really connect with real people.
I think that’s what we’re missing in our in our generation today. connectivity, relational, not just about metric system, not just about well this looks good on my Facebook or Instagram post and I want people to like it when eventually you have forgotten to embrace what it feels like to have human connection, what it feels like to be real and authentic and to actually try to see how you compose yourself in the midst of chaos and trials.
When you’re delivering food with Door Dash, there’s a lot of mistakes that you’re going to make. You’re going to get lost along the way. I usually like to get lost sometimes because at least I can find out that this street is going to be parallel to this street that this is actually going to lead me to a different path. This is why when you are trying to create something, messing up is part of the journey. Getting lost and not always having it right is going to force you to mature. It’s going to force you to grow up.
It’s gonna force you to even have a backbone, which many of people do not have a backbone because we are taught and conditioned that all you have to do is you know sit in your puny little you know bench and just don’t really get outside and try to test your tenacity and try to test your endurance, because we’re too complacent. We’re too scared. And if somehow the problem arises, how do we handle difficult people?
How do we handle with people who cannot actually give us the things that we answer and we’re actually panicking in the moment? But it actually is forcing you to make sure that you are not going to be easily shaken when things do not go the way that it planned. So, one of the things that also taught me as I was door dashing a few days ago that you do not really expect the unexpected. There is no way for you to find out that what the day is going to be like. It’s like a surprise.
That’s what excites me the most because every day is a different day. You’re going to encounter different faces, different walks of life. If you’re going to talk to different ethnicity, different people, different languages, and backgrounds, which I love because that will test you whether you are truly a genuine person. Do you really treat people the same way across the board or you are playing favorites based on the color of their skin? That also will expose your true character.
Are you truly a person with authenticity, integrity? Do you really treat people, children alike, older people alike, strangers alike, or you just like to pretend?
Are you going to handle this pressure calmly, or you going to be just belligerent and entitled, spoiled brats like many people are when they don’t get the way that they wanted? Of course, my impatience sometimes is going to arouse. It’s going to flourish because I expect them that the food is ready when I arrive there because I don’t want you to waste my time. But that also will force you to tell yourself okay you cannot control every dynamics you cannot control every stimulus sometimes the things that you hope for to be quick maybe because maybe there are short staff or maybe you don’t have enough help in the kitchen you also developed compassion and sympathy or empathy and that also helps you in the long run to become a better version of yourself.
So this lesson, driving around, picking up food for people, delivering, it is not only just making money for me. It is about really testing the amount of character that I have in myself. Am I really willing to put myself out there again and to be vulnerable and to be teachable? I think the lesson is when you are trying to learn something especially you have not done it yet, you are going to be tested again.
Are you willing to be teachable?
Are you willing to going to admit that you don’t have to figure it out?
You don’t know everything and that when you don’t know everything, it humbles you. It makes you more grounded and humble because you are now aware that actually I don’t know a lot of things. I still am trying to you know get my way into my footing. I still don’t understand how this whole work because some people have do have been doing this for many years and I watch countless of YouTube channel has been Door Dashing or Uber Eats or delivering food and for them it seems as though it’s easy peasy for them now because it’s a muscle memory.
The more and more you do it, you become progressively very good at something that you do. It’s about repetition. It is about habit. It’s about memory muscle.
And so for you, if you’re too afraid to take a risk because maybe you have been doubting yourself, your self-doubt, you have been stuck in the analysis paralysis, maybe I should do this, maybe I shouldn’t do this, what would people say, what would people think, what would my family say or think about what I’m doing. Who cares about what people say and think of what the hell you’re doing.
This is your life in the first place. I don’t care whether your mom or your dad is on your side as long as you’re doing the right thing. As long as this is for the betterment of yourself and your future, it doesn’t matter their opinions. If you’re not following the straight line path of going to school, getting a job, 9 to5, as long as you’re making money with integrity and you’re not robbing people, I think that that’s what matters the most, right? And secondly, because people don’t want to get out of their comfort zone because of procrastination too.
Another part of us that we don’t want to try something new because we procrastinate is because of fear. It is because of self-doubt. We also are perfectionists. We are waiting for the right moment. Maybe this is not the right time. The greatest lesson I have learned that if you are deciding to do something, just do it before you’re ready. I’m not sure. I think it’s Marie Forleo who said it that start before you’re ready because it is the truth. You cannot just be stuck in your head always analyzing, contemplating whether I should start a business.
Maybe I should wait for the right moment, the right time. Maybe if I could just be 10 lbs lighter or more beautiful or my skin is prettier, then I could start tomorrow. What if tomorrow never comes for you? Because nothing is guaranteed tomorrow. Today is what we have. Only today is guaranteed. So for you to just constantly be paralyzed with impostor syndrome trying to differentiate between should I or should I not or maybe this is not the right time. You are wasting every moment of your life by not doing anything. Just do it according to Nike because that is all you have to do. Take action.
The moment you take action, you will now have the evidence that you are capable of so much more. You must be you you will be surprised the moment you step out of this analysis, paralysis, procrastination, and perfectionist tendencies. If you just take yourself outside of your own way, you’ll be surprised how capable you really are. Because I even surprised myself. I thought I would be, you know, anxious and I would be paralyzed with fear because, oh my gosh, this is so beneath me.
I’m not supposed to be doing this job, you know, blah blah blah because it’s actually not the typical, you know, career of what my family thinks of me or whatever my friends think of me. Maybe I should be a better woman right now or I have a freaking business who’s making $500,000 a year. But I don’t care because when the moment you stop having the validation from people and chasing their approval that is for you a transformation and that is when you just do you and you don’t you could care less of what people say regardless of their opinion. You don’t give a hoot anymore because it’s your life at the end of the day.
Whatever you do today it is for your benefit for the future. Whatever you’re sewing today is for the harvest of tomorrow. Every plant, every seed that you’re planted on the ground, whether you’re creating a business, doing something for your life differently from the rest of the people around you, you will be surprised that someday you will actually benefit from it. And you’re going to be surprised and thank yourself for doing something unconventional.
Because let’s face it, the world is going to give you a handbook, a rule, and says this is exactly how you should live your life. But guess what, you are not like the world. You are not like everybody else. This is your life. This is not your mother’s life. This is not your sister’s life. This is not your cousin’s life or your best friend’s life. This is your own life. This is actually you, your life. You get the chance to create. You get the chance to decide. you get the chance to choose where you want to go and what are the choices you’re willing to make and the risk that you’re willing to take.
And so that is why it’s important that when you are trying to create something new and have many many creativity pop up in your head and you are trying to create something out of ordinary you must be sometimes step outside of your cubicle go outside get a fresh air learn from people observe people and connect with real humans okay I think that is what’s the missing pieces today that’s why people today are belligerent stress stress out because we have missed the whole point.
We thought that we can exchange social media with real connection. We thought we can exchange with relational deep relationship by just clicking on likes and having a post and have a smiley emojis. We thought that that equates a real genuine human connection when in fact it is just scratching the surface and it’s actually shallow. So, I would challenge you to get back out there and to be surrounded with people even though you’re afraid doing it. Just do it anyway. And that is all that I would like for you to be reminded that there are people out there, real people who truly loves food the way that you love food, who really wants to see you happy and enjoying the things that you enjoy.
And you are actually going to be surprised that there are many good people perhaps that we somehow forgotten to acknowledge that they do exist. Bad people do exist too as well as good people. So if we want to magnify the positive more than the negative, I think we can actually have a better perspective that life isn’t really that bad. Even though our situation may not be perfect, even though our goals might go disarray and it doesn’t go the way that we hope for.
But I guarantee you there are more good people out there than you have maybe validated it to be. Because as far as I’m concerned, there are people who are really genuinely want to help you than the rest of the minorities who are just demonically challenged who are very hurt of their pain and they’re so stuck up and there only few of them.
So you wouldn’t want to let those minority of the jealous toxic people ruin your life because they have actually decided to make your life miserable and you’re just going to stop living and being out there and being isolated because we’re supposed to live. That’s why Jesus said, “I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly.” Life. Life is for living. Life is for doing something that you’re passionate about.
Life is for doing something that excites you, something that will make you alive and vibrant, that’s what is life is all about. But if you’re not doing anything of that and you’re just stuck in your just isolation, I know because I love my own company. I love being alone with my own thoughts. I like to create my own ideas in my own head at home that sometimes I just had to e eject myself from my old pattern and from my old status quo and from my old way of thinking and being and I actually love being surrounded and I was I feel this energy in my brain and in my stomach that says wow this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
This is exactly where I belong with people that you know even though I don’t know them personally but because they contribute something that we all have in common which is food is a universal language food is something that brings people together that’s why I naturally gravitate towards food because I love to eat not only that because food does not have biases food is not prejudice and that’s why when you have food and you talk amongst people when there’s food around you connect in a different level and it doesn’t have any political agenda food is neutral.
I think and it actually creates connection amongst people whether wherever you come from whatever the background you come from or the status of your life because food as I said is a universal language that we all speak the same language when it comes to food it is not going to rub other people the wrong way it’s not going ruffle your feathers because it’s food. Everybody likes food.
Everybody likes to eat. And that is why I think for me I always gravitate towards food and eating good food. And maybe I am drawn naturally to this kind of job unbeknownst to me because maybe this my calling you know food and I have actually created another YouTube glib’s appetite purely solely based on food that I have visited the places restaurant that I have been cooking and eating because food for me as I said it is a language that brings people together. It is something that connects us in a deeper level.
Even though you might come from Africa, Asia, Australia, from a different continents of this world, but that’s exactly how powerful. The same thing with music that allows us to really be in camaraderie and working together as one instead of dividing each other because I think we see so much division already in this world. We don’t need more of that crap.
We don’t need more of the hate and bigotry and deception and just being on each other’s throat. I think people are now starving more than ever with a real connection, genuine rawness, authenticity with no hidden motive. I think that’s exactly what I’m also craving for. And maybe that’s why I’m always drawn to food because food doesn’t lie. What you see is what you get. If the food is bland, you can taste it right away. When the food is good, it is palatable.
You can actually taste how good the food is. It doesn’t fake. It doesn’t lie. And that’s what I love about food because whatever you cook, whatever you do with the food, it’s like an experimentation. You tweak around, you put a little bit of spices and it creates a different kind of aroma and it tastes differently.
And maybe because people are usually thinking that food is something that can sustain you and it can saturate you but at the same time it connects you in a deeper level with other people. That is all my beautiful friends that I would like for you to think about that. Go out there and live your life to the fullest as if it is your last day.
