A High Value Woman

A high value woman is not one-size fits-all. It’s actually subjective. I don’t know how you define a high value woman. But in my book, if you don’t have God in you and actually if God hasn’t changed your heart and your mind and you’re always lying to people, you are not a high value woman. You are actually vibrating at a low frequency. That is the term that I can only use because here’s the thing, not every children created by God, are of God, okay. You are created in the image of God. You have the likeness of God, however; not every daughter or woman out there that are of God. There are a plethora of women in the Bible that we can learn that they don’t have the characteristics of God. One of them is Jezebel. She is a usurper. She is manipulative. She is a witch and another one is Eve. We also have another woman that we can also learn that is Delilah. She’s also used by Satan. 

So, not because you are created in the image of God, It doesn’t matter what you say to yourself but you are not of God, if you are not godly. If you don’t have fear of God in you, if you don’t tell the truth. Because that’s what the Bible said those who speaks lies and they love to lie are of Satan. That’s why Jesus made it clear you are the sons of your father, the devil the father of all lies, the murderer from the beginning. So, if you have been lying to yourself and you’re lying to other people you are not a high value woman. You are actually a low value woman. You need to work on your integrity. You need to work on your honesty because at the end of the day God cannot be mocked. He’s gonna judge you according to the lies that you’ve been saying so when you say about a high value woman, it has to find out who you are in God.

#1 Charm

But there are certain characteristics, I think okay. So of a high value woman. First is of course, is charm. Now charming is deceitful, beauty is fading but to those who fear the Lord, she will be praised. But I think one of the keys to use our charm the right way is when we actually don’t have to try so hard to have this kind of attention to ourselves. Charm is something you enveloped, you embody when you are so confident of who you are in God. The celebrities that always remind me of that are charming, they don’t even have to try . It’s something that what they carry themselves it’s the way that they dress about themselves. It’s Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Monica Bellucci. So, these are the kind of women that when you look at them and you just gaze at them. They are carrying the kind of charm, even if they don’t even try it’s the way that they exude this charm, the way that they carry themselves, the way that they dress and that’s why they become alluring. These women are charismatic.

#2 Ownership

Owning yourself is never apologizing for who you are. Ownership is tapping into your inner self. Embracing yourself is how to take your ownership, taking accountability is another thing that you

can say it. You pay attention to your quirkiness, what are your talents, what are your God-given nature. I didn’t understand that myself was so fragmented because all my life a lot of people in my life was trying to tell me how I should be, who should I become, how I should act and how I should behave. And that’s why when you grow up, when you become an adult, you are confused. But the moment you know who you are in God and you realize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. This is how you realize that some things in your life that you should not tolerate. There are certain in life that you should not allow. That’s why you start having boundaries and it’s hard to really have the ownership and to be authentic in this world when people around you are try are trying to maneuver you. Trying so hard to make you into someone that you’re not and we compare to each other’s successes. Women are taught to compare with each other and that’s what according to Eleanor Roosevelt she said “Comparison is a thief of joy.” When you compare yourself to someone else, it leads to a life of misery. You’re going to be a miserable woman because no women are alike. You are not going to have the same eyes, height, color of your hair, you’re not going to have the same talents. Maybe there are similarities but we’re never the same. This is why instead of focusing on other women, you must take ownership of who you are. 

And you have to cultivate the kind of talents and the kind of abilities that God has given you because you’re going to rob yourself of that joy. And you’re just going to be miserable. I used to be that kind of a person before I was so obsessed with magazines. And so here I was trying to change my body and trying to be the next top model on the magazines and I would starve myself. I would not eat. I would just chew gum because I just want to be size zero but ultimately I have developed the kind of eating problem in my high school. Because I was so obsessed about being healthy. Although it’s not healthy not to eat and eat too much. However, it was extreme for me and that’s why when we don’t know who we really are in God’s eyes. We are just too destructive of ourselves.

#3 Self-disciplined

 And the next characteristic of a high value woman is self-disciplined. Now do not get me wrong, I don’t have all of these characteristics. Yet it’s still an ongoing process. I still do not do this habitually, not all the time but I tried my best. Self-discipline is what she possesses when all the passion is long gone. Self-discipline will be the driving force to keep you going. This attitude is going to push you to greater lengths. To never give up. A self-disciplined woman knows how to manage her time wisely. She works around her schedule. She knows her priorities aside from managing her time wisely. She is also disciplined by how she treats her body. The food she puts into her mouth. She knows what’s best for her and she invests on her well-being, physically, mentally and emotionally.

She is a woman who takes action, so passion is something that we are passionate about. You know, it’s so excited at the very beginning of something that you create. You’re passionate about your marriage for the first time or I’m passionate about creating a video but when all of that is said and done and everything dwindles. You are now have to be left with self-discipline.  Self-discipline is going to drive you to move forward in your life and without self-discipline there are days that you don’t want to get up. There are days that you don’t want to try. There are days that you just don’t could care less about what’s going on in your life. But the self-discipline part is what’s going to get you out of the bed and try again.

Even though your life is falling apart, there are days in my life that I just want to lay down all day on my bed, having a self-pity party and have a box of chocolate and a pint of ice cream and I just want to cry and wallow in self-pity. Because it’s easy to do that but if you really are a child of God, a daughter of the most High King, you have no time for that honey. You don’t have time for the self-pity party. Even if the people around you are difficult to live with. Even if you’re a husband and you’ll have a big argument because you know that only the only person is going to lose in the game eventually is you and not the people around you.

#4 She Believes In Herself

The next one is, she believes in herself. A woman that is a high value woman is believing in yourself. It requires having your own back even if the rest of the world and the rest of your family are against you. Even if they disqualify you or make fun of your dreams or ask you the question who do you think you are for trying? Who do you think you are for writing a blog or having a book published? Who do you think you are for having a YouTube channel? Who do you think you are for even wanting to be the top next model or actress or whatever it is that you want to do with your life? You need to believe in yourself. I cannot emphasize this enough on how important it is to believe in your dreams that seem impossible and unattainable, okay. You must keep on showing up for yourself because I said no one is going to knock at your door, is going to motivate you and going to cheer you on and say,  “We have to get on to your dream tomorrow.” 

She keeps on growing, thriving, and evolving. A woman that believes in herself, she transforms herself from an ugly duckling into a graceful swan from a caterpillar into this beautiful butterfly. Because she is without a doubt in herself. She believes in herself wholeheartedly that whatever she put and mind and heart into something is going to grow. It is the law of sowing and reaping. What you sow, you will reap. However, you must learn to keep cultivating that dream and keep watering it. Because no one else can do that for you.

#5 Honesty

Another one is, she is honest. As I said earlier, “If you’re a woman who loves drama, who loves to lie to herself and to people, you are actually a low value woman. A woman that is of high value is a woman with honesty and with integrity. It’s her policy, okay. No matter what people may say or do saying “Come on everybody’s lying anyway why can’t you just be like everyone else?” Because God knows whatever we do in the secret is also in the public eye. That’s what God said, whatever you sow, you will reap. God cannot be mocked, if you sow in the flesh, you will reap corruption and death. But if you sow in the spirit, there’s life and there’s peace. And so, a woman that is honest, she’s an honest woman. 

She’s a high value woman, she possesses honesty and integrity. She is not going to just act out differently in public and act out differently in private trying to be a different person, trying to please everybody okay. I used to be that one. I used to be acting out differently in the public because I want to be liked. I want to be loved. I want to be congratulated. I want to be adored and admired and it was exhausting. It was  exhausting to live like that and that’s what I call hypocrisy. Because if you’re trying to attain validation from people and attracting them to applause you and to give you the kind of admiration, you are fooling yourself okay and that kind

of living it’s not integrity. Because you know that that’s not the kind of woman you are, you know that it’s not the kind of a person that you are. That’s not how God created you to be. Integrity on the other hand is doing the right thing when no one is looking. Even if people don’t like to hear the truth, even if people will hate you for speaking the truth in love, you must be the truth teller. You must be the one who speaks out and to call out the nonsense of people in your family, in your friendships at work. Even if people are going to call you a tattle tale, you’re a rat whatever it is. Always do the right thing. I’m not saying that you don’t make an exemption. Of course, there’s always going to be like, well when should I say the truth and when should I not say the truth.

I mean this is something that you need wisdom and discernment from God of what do you tolerate and what don’t you tolerate. This is why sometimes, we live in a family members that are just two-faced okay and they’ve been lying to us all along. We think to ourselves that they are the most honest people in the world but when you grow up, you realize something and you found something about your family that wasn’t true the whole time like. For instance, you call yourself religious, you go to church every Sunday like I used to very Catholic went to church every Sunday. But Saturday before before Sunday I was already out partying, clubbing, fornicating, doing things that are ungodly that’s what you call hypocrisy and I was not living with integrity, okay.

So, here I was wanting to look up to appear like I was the most religious girl in the world that I was so holy and then by the time Saturday comes and Friday comes I could care less. I was wearing a hoochie mama dress, you know, showing all my cleavage for the man to see. I was just about myself and I had no self-respect and that’s what you call dishonesty. Because if you truly call yourself a child of God, a daughter of the high king, you have to walk the talk and talk the walk. I know I’m not saying that you have to be perfect all the time. You’re going to make mistakes like I have made mistakes. Because I’m a human being. I’m going to have my bad days, I’m going to have my good days but you don’t stay there okay. 

You have to repent, ask God to give you grace and thank God for grace and you can back up again and you can start all over again. Because His mercies are new every morning, that’s why God is a faithful. God when you mess up today, He knows it and He’s just going to forgive you and he said “Try again tomorrow, even if today you messed up, try again tomorrow.” Because God wants us to have the admittance, the acknowledgement. He doesn’t want you to pretend. He doesn’t want you to lie like I don’t sin. I’m not a sinful person. I am perfect because God is someone that you cannot fool. A man looks at the person’s appearance but God looks at your heart.

#6 A Risk Taker

The next thing a woman with a high value is a risk taker. A high value woman is not afraid to challenge herself. She is willing to try something that scares her and she navigates her fear by understanding where it comes from. When you think she won’t do it, she will tap inwardly. She then activates her faith and she looks within herself. She believes that she has what it takes to win. A high value woman is a risk taker. She is not going to let fear be the driving force of her decision making. Instead she activates and steps into faith to do whatever it takes to accomplish her dreams, goals and the vision.

She may want to accomplish in her life so if you want to be a high value woman, you got to take a risk. I have seen in my life that some women are too afraid, they’re the most talented gifted women that I have seen but because it was their doubt. It was their fear. It was their self-t talk that made them stay stagnant instead of using their talents to decorate a home, they failed and I have witnessed this kind of life. They could have in this world if they would have not listened to the critics and the critic is in our own head and this is why if you want to be a high value woman you got to be willing to take a risk. Because what life is there to live when you don’t even try unless of course you really are crippled with fear. That’s what something that you have to deal with like I had to deal with the fear of focusing or looking at myself in the camera.

For many years ago, I had to deal with that fear. I have to deal with the fear of being criticized. I have to make peace with myself saying, I cannot please everybody.

Everyone is not going to like me. Not everyone’s going to be the my cup of my tea, not everyone’s going to congratulate me or applaud me for being a content creator. Because some people are demonicons, they’re going to drag you. There are toxic people out there. Unfortunately, that’s why you’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea. But who cares? Nobody really cares because at the end of the day, at least you have tried to do something outside of your box, outside of your comfort zone. Because that’s when you grow. That’s when you’re going to prove to yourself that I am capable of actually doing this. Without people’s approval and then of course 

#7 Gritty and Driven

Let’s not forget she is a woman with grit and drive. When you are a high value woman, you got to have the grit and the drive because when the going gets tough, when the going gets tough, who is going to push you? Without your grit and without your drive? A woman with a high value exudes a beautiful woman from the inside out. Gritty women, don’t quit right away. They don’t give up easily even if the going gets hard. Even things are not going your way, you don’t let your circumstances discourage you. You keep on going even if it gets going hard and you must be your own cheerleader. You have to celebrate every milestone that you achieve and I do this by pampering myself okay. 

Self-care every time I create something on YouTube or some kind of milestone that I’ve accomplished, I would treat myself into something today. I have treat myself a haircut. It’s not really a big deal. It was only like 3 inches and I also realized to myself I needed to work on my eyebrow and so I bought a little bit of trinkets here and there like a blush for my face. So, you got to acknowledge your accomplishment. Maybe today, you did not eat a lot of junk food or you cut down on your soda. It doesn’t have to be this big milestone. It has to be just a little celebration on in a day and that’s why you got to have the drive and the grit and you have to congratulate yourself. Because when life gets hard and life is going to knock you down, marriage problem, financial problem, children problem, health problems, in-laws problem, you know anything goes, you have to have some kind of grit and the drive, the force that is going to escalate you into something that no one can stop you, no matter what happens.

#8 Invest In Yourself

And then of course she invests in herself. As I just want to tie that in as what I said you got to pamper yourself self-care. A high value woman  is not afraid to invest in herself. Many women today are told that you’re selfish for taking care of yourself that you shouldn’t be a woman or a wife that should go out and take care of yourself. If a woman is such a depleted woman and she has nothing to give. Do you really think it’s worth living? Your house is going to be in shambles. You’re not going to be motivated to cook for your family, you’re not going to show up for your husband and your son because why you’re always giving and giving and giving and giving.

Guess what, no one is pouring into you and when you’re exhausted because everybody’s taking from you. You’re just going to be depressed, exhausted and so overwhelmed and sad.  And you’re just going to quit in life and that’s why as a woman you must pour into your soul. You must pour into yourself and you cannot wait for anyone else to pour that into you. 

I know we have a husband but let me tell you something, they have their own world. The husband, our husbands have their own world. They don’t really care so much about our emotional needs. Unfortunately, we also live with narcissistic husband, who could care less about being emotionally be there for you as a woman. You cannot ask a man to fill your cup. That’s what Jesus said, “I am the only one who can give you this living water.” The water of Jesus is the only one that can quench the thirst of your soul and you also have to do the same thing for you. Jesus even said to his disciples “Come away with me you have to go somewhere so that you can rest.” There are times in our life as a woman, you just have to rest. Taking a nap for 30 minutes can do a miracle, try it, and if that’s not enough. Maybe you should take time at night when everybody’s sleeping. Or maybe you’re a morning person, you have to just get up and journal and reflect about yourself. Do not neglect yourself.

 As a woman, we know that we neglect ourselves,l we put ourselves in the back burner. We always feel this guilt saying “Well I can’t do this right now because I have kids to take care of. I have a husband to take care of.” But five minutes or 10 minutes or 20 minutes or however minutes you have to take time for yourself just to breathe or to just sit down for yourself. Or maybe have a cup of tea in the afternoon that is something, that is actually soothing in your soul because we are not human doings. God said, You’re a human being, you have to learn how to be okay the French word etre is to be.

But of course we live in this generation that’s always congratulating people with this grinding, the hustle culture but that is full of nonsense. I don’t really like the hustle culture nonsense. I love to work hard, don’t get me wrong but at the same time, I like to play hard too and I like to rest. Because what’s the point of having all this money when you have no time for yourself and you are just not healthy and you are just always overwhelmed and stressed out. It is not pretty.

#9 Love yourself 

As a high value woman you have to love yourself. Loving yourself is the greatest thing you can do. The greatest love of all is finding out who you are in God, created by the image of God, okay. You have to know that Jesus said, “You are redeemed, you are forgiven, you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are my daughter you know that God loves you so much.” He’s the only one who can love, you a man can’t do that for you. If you have that concept and you put that in your head and you have this idea in your head that you know what no matter what happens in my life. Even if people walk away from my lif, a man may walk away, you are whole. You are not going to have a depression pills in your cabinet. Of course if you’re going to be grieving about it. Of course, you’re going to be sad but at the end of the day when you know that God is with you who can be against you? Who can be against you, if you really know in your heart that you are the daughter of Aba the father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, who can be against you? God said “I will be with you until the day you die. I will never leave you, I will never forsake you.” Because God is not a man that He should lie.