Episode #55 – Wrong Beliefs I Used to Believe

Transcript

Today’s topic is about the wrong beliefs that you have believe about yourself or the false narrative that you keep replaying in your mind. Sometimes we think that our thoughts are our own and when you are not careful it will define you. It will actually make you a person of who you are today. Most of our thoughts are governed by the things that we have been taught culturally in our society. Sometimes the way you were brought up in your own family, whatever religion you come from and sometimes religion that you come from also are not the truth. And this is why I always like to talk about on my channel about prospering in body, spirit and soul and coming to the full truth for the truth will set you free.

Here Are The Wrong Beliefs I Used To Believe:

1. Money

And so the wrong belief number one that I believe about myself when I was writing this on my journal many years ago and I want to share it with you is that mismanaging money. Money was not something that I was born with because most of us came into this world with nothing and we will return with nothing and majority of us grow up with a family who does not know how to teach their kids about finances. We thought that money grows on trees. That money is not something that is to be kept but to to to spend or to splurge. Growing up my mother raised four children and eventually she was struggling financially.

Features: And of course as a child I’ve always had this scarcity mindset that I should not ask for money because I saw my mother asking for money from people or not necessarily asking but trying to be indebted to this person and I grew up thinking that as an as an adult I should not fall into the same category. And this is why sometimes I have this idea in my head that I should work harder and proving to myself to anyone that I will not be a burden. So anything to do with money growing up as a as a woman right now when I was in college that’s why I was so determined not to get into debt and to get out of debt as soon as possible because debt for me was a trap and even the Bible talks about it. It is a it becomes your master. You become a slave into it if you are not really have a knowledge of how money works.

Money is not evil. Many people misquote this verse that says money is evil. They have forgotten the fact that it says the love of money is the root of all evil. It is the love of money. It’s not that money is evil. It is your motive behind it. It is what you do with it. It is something that God uses as a tool to bless other people. However, money can also be something that of a bad value when you are making it as a god when your priority in life is just about making money and you’re obsessively thinking about money all the time and you’re putting it on the pedestal ex instead of the maker of it instead of the giver which is God himself.

2. Your Thoughts

And number two belief is that I can’t control my thoughts. That thoughts are supposed to be just a random thought that comes in. Although thoughts are uncontrollable. Thoughts produce we produce thoughts about 70,000 per day according to the study. However, we do have a choice to ponder on them and to act upon them. This is the wrong belief that also grew up as a child. I thought that I have to act or believe the thoughts that come in. And then later on in my college because I love to read about self-help book and really was curious about how the brain functions and many studies have shown due to curiosity that our brain has a tendency to expand. It is a neuroplasticity. It has the ability to change over time when you develop the idea of keeping track of what you’re thinking about. I have read the book of Norman Peele I think think positive thoughts. It was the first book I have read back in college and the second book that related to the brain was think uh battle of the mind by Joyce Meyer.

So these were the books that truly helped me that I highly recommended that I recommend that you have to really understand that our brain is the battlefield. It is true that the brain our thoughts will become a weapon against us or it can help us grow into a better version of ourselves. Our brain are the dumping ground of Satan. Either it is based on well it always about lies. That’s just given. Every time when the devil, the enemy, and your subconscious mind will tell you something, it is based on lies. It is based on narrative that is you’re not good enough. You are never going to be mount up to anything. Look at you. You’re never going to be successful like your cousin. You’re never going to have all this money.

So these are false narrative that you have been believing. And this is why I always like to say you have to locate the source of it. when I used to believe as a child that I was ugly, you know, why did it where did it come from? I look fat all the time with this dress. I I’m chubby. All this negative criticism, I have to locate them because when a person tells you something about your weight, I used to get triggered and I have to locate why I felt that way. And it all goes back to my childhood when someone criticizes me about my phase, about how I looked. And so these are you can change them.

Note Worthy: You can actually shift your thinking from negative into positive.

It says fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable to think things about excellent and worthy of praise and meditate on those things because our thoughts are sometimes based on what we repeatedly say on a daily basis. Philippians 4:8

3. Confidence

And of course let’s think about another belief system that I am never going to be confident. Confidence is something that you have to develop over time. It is not that you were born with it. Many people lack of confidence because they are not competent. I think that there was a study show that in order for you to be confident, you have to be competent. Competency only comes in when you keep doing the same thing repeatedly by taking a risk and getting out of your comfort zone. You can never be confident unless you try something new. For instance, when I started my videos on 2019 in 2019, I think the first time I have recorded myself in front of a camera where I use my phone, I felt awkward. I felt as though I looked weird. I sounded strange. I didn’t like how I looked in the camera. The reflection of me was horrible.

So, I had all of this negative narrative in my head. And so I ended up re-recording it, deleting it. And I have started many videos before and I had to recreate many channels before because of my insecurity. It’s a lack of confidence. Confidence is also because you are not really have the belief in yourself. When you don’t have belief in yourself and you’re always looking for other people’s validation, do I look pretty? What would they think about me? My family, do they like how I sound? It’s always about internal criticism. Again, it all goes back to your inner dialogue. It all goes back to your narrative that you used to believe about yourself.

This is why I also like to emphasize what you say about yourself. When you look at in the mirror is also subconsciously dictating to you how you feel about yourself. So your thoughts are something that are that is malleable. You can it is not permanent. You can actually change it however you want to change it.

So, confidence is about being aware that it’s okay to look foolish sometimes. It’s okay not to be ready because if you’re wait if you’re waiting for the right time and the right moment to start something, you’ll be waiting forever. And many people I think this is why many people are stuck in that analysis paralysis because they keep on analyzing whether this is good enough or maybe I look foolish in front of the camera. I have realized that people can just have an opinion about you but it’s a projection about themselves. It’s something that they believe about themselves that they want you to believe also because what can we say misery loves company.

So people that want to drag you down is because they want you to believe that you are just like them. So confidence again is something that you developed over time. It is showing up after time about yourself and keeping the promises to yourself that you’re going to when you want to do something you have to do something. Even today, this podcast is going to be produced a little late. But at least it’s not too late because I I’m still showing up on Mondays and Thursdays.

And this is something that you build confidence over time, showing up for yourself, keeping promise to yourself and taking yourself out of a box and taking a risk. It doesn’t matter of people might celebrate you or not.

In a world of hyper productivity and achieving unrealistic goals, creating a world in your own terms is beneficial.

And another thing that is a false narrative that I used to believe this our belief system that I also used to get suckered into is that relationships that I’m I’m not good at keeping relationships or building relationships. Just because my mom and my dad were divorced, I too will fall into the same category. or I am not a good person with building communication because I am not really good in relationship. That’s also a lie. Again, building relationship ties into investing your time and energy. It is also something of a skill that we must develop. Relationships sometimes are very complicated.

Although there are people in our life that are meant to stay temporarily and there are people in our life that are going to stay hopefully for the rest of your life and so relationship is also learning about people observing people as I said people have patterns and realizing that people are also human beings that they’re also flawed like you acceptance is another thing when you have this depth of understanding that people will fail you and people will disappoint you. It is better that way that you have that kind of clarity so that you’re not going to get hurt. I was so hurt before because I expect too highly of people.

Realizing that people are also human beings that they’re also flawed like you. Acceptance is another thing when you have this depth of understanding.
Glennavelle

When you have this high expectations of people and they actually show up that is mediocre or average, you get disappointed because you thought to yourself, I expected highly of you and then my standard was so high. And when they do not reciprocate the way that you do, your feelings get hurt. But let’s be real, people usually will show up the way that they are, especially when they are still not growing. when they are not doing the inner work in themselves.

You only have one life to live, so try to live to the fullest.

And this is the revelation that I have actually been revealed to many years ago when I was so caught up in trying to change people and hoping that people would act and think and behave the way that I do when God said to me, “Why do you like to control people when in fact you cannot even control your own self? The only variable you can control is yourself. You cannot control people. As much as you want people to change and as much as people are going to treat you the right way, if you’re not even that have kind of that inner dialogue in yourself and changing the way you think about yourself and the way you process your thoughts, how can you possibly make other people change? So relationship is about acceptance.

Learning that the only person that I can really influence is me. I can influence the people around me. It is what the Bible, the golden rule says. Do unto others as you would want others do unto you. First of all, you have to be kind in order for you to have the reciprocity of kindness. You need to show love so that you can be lovable. You have to be able to be agreeable and benevolent instead of expecting people to treat you a certain way. And here you are belligerent, disrespectful, unkind. It it is truly you will reap what you sow. You need to plant seeds first by teaching other people how you want to be treated. Relationship is also creating healthy boundaries and saying no when you want to say no and not changing your mind. You have to also be honest if you truly want to express yourself.

There are times that you have to confront people of the way they are treating you. You are not a doormat and you are not just a person that can be shoved around and be disrespected because you do have an intrinsic value. You God created you as a person fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. So when a person has been crossing your boundaries and they have been repeatedly disrespecting you, you have to really learn how to put your foot down and tell them nicely of course why are you doing this or asking them a question you shouldn’t do this because it is unacceptable or you’re disrespecting me. And another thing that I would like for you to think about when I was going through this process of the wrong beliefs set about myself is that if you are just going to rest, you are lazy.

How many of us grew up in the family of t type A personality OCD uh highly achievers and that is another lie that I used to believe that if I need if I’m just going to rest for a few hours if I’m just going to watch TV I am lazy. I grew up with my grandparents side of my mom. We used to live with them and I can tell you that my grandmother, bless her soul, may she rest in peace. She was a person who loved to tidy. She loves organization. She wants her floor spotless. You cannot enter her place with your shoes on. She would yell at you and holler about she just mop it and wax it to a point where you can see your reflection. She was that top of a level of a cleaner woman.

And I think I’ve grown up looking at her whether to admire her or not because at the same time you’re still a child and there was too much pressure that says you have to help out even though you want to play outside with your cousins but you couldn’t because you need to help out around the, you know, she loved to really change her curtains and dust off all of the furniture and rearranging. And I think that’s exactly where I got from her because I love to do the same thing today. I love to organize. I love to dust off things. I like to mop my floor as much as I can.

So these are the things that I used to believe that you’re lazy when you’re not doing anything. If you’re resting or god forbid you watch TV because watching TV in our house was not allowed unless we do our work. Not to say that we were not allowed to watch TV at nighttime, but it was something a rule that we were taught as a child that my grandfather used to say when your work is done, you did your homework and you help out in the kitchen and then it’s at night time, then you can watch TV. But unless that it was still daylight and it was still you can see the sunlight and there are still a lot of things to do around the house, we were not allowed to just sit our butt off and waste our time for the whole day and a couch potato and watch TV. That was not allowed in their house or in their home.

And that is something I also applied. But sometimes though when I’m not careful we I tend to overly exhaust myself to a point where we get burned out because we have this I I have this idea in my head that if I am not contributing or if I’m not taking care of everyone around me then therefore I am lazy. That’s also the false narrative that I had a struggle changing. That was the wrong belief system that I have to really learn to tune out because it was a hard time for me to just allow myself even at night to rest and to watch TV. I need to do something. I feel like I have to find something to do because if I’m not doing anything productive, then there’s something’s wrong with me that I’m really just a person who is not motivated or I have no ambition or I’m just a lazy person.

And this is why I am so thankful that my husband is opposite than I am. That’s what they say, opposite attracts. Because it’s true. My husband is this guy nonchalant. He is a melancholy guy. He is just like to chill and I am the opposite. I like to keep on going like an energizer body. My husband is not. He is so chill. And maybe we compliment each other. And I think the reason why God said you need to have someone like your husband because he he allows me to just breathe and relax and just be comfortable sometimes of sitting around and doing absolutely nothing. And it takes a lot of work in my part because even at night time when I just want to sit down in the couch, my brain usually would go into this mode of what can you possibly do next? There’s something that you can do.

Like even last night watching on TV my brain suddenly said don’t you not have something to do uh are you not supposed to do this or that even though I have done so many things already that morning I’ve already you know organized my cabinets and I already tried to reproduce my short video videos and then my brain suddenly just reminded me that I have other things to do too and I had to learn to drown out that voice that says just let me sit down and I need to just decompress because I am not a machine. I am not a robot that I have to keep on doing and going like I need to rest because when we are so habitually overly productive which is good in a way because you get things done.

However, when you are not really attuned to your body, you are going to be exhausted to a point where you’re going to be hospitalized, God forbid, or you’re going to really just get sick because we love to do so much work, especially as an American. We are highly achievers. We are going to push ourselves to a brink of a meltdown sometimes, and that is not good. We we must learn how to find balance. and a balance in a way that I’m not saying that you cannot have play and work at the same time but a balance where you must celebrate every milestones in your life and if you have achieved so many things that day you are allowed to sit down and watch TV and read a book and have a coffee or not coffee you cannot have coffee at night I cannot have coffee at night before I go to sleep a warm milk or a warm tea.

Here are three takeaways:

Knowledge about money: Learning about finance and how money works reduce stress to design a better future.
Building confidence: The more you take a risk and step out from the comfort of your environment, that is how you build self-confidence. By exposing yourself to unfamiliar places and not being afraid to step into new environments.
Watch your thoughts: Thoughts influence towards how you think about yourself, the people around you and the world shifting it to positive ones help become an optimist.

To Conclude:

And you must allow yourself even if your voice is telling you to do something otherwise you must learn to just say it is my time to just rest. It is my time to take this slowly because it’s a night time. And so these were just the wrong belief that I used to tell myself and I hope that you will do this exercise when you have the time. sit down and really assess your false narrative that you used to believe. And hopefully this episode has helped you. Until next time, I hope you will have a wonderful day ahead of you and it’s too early. It’s actually 5:35 and I have to really produce this right now because I promise that I’ll be here Mondays and Thursdays. God willing, of course, if there’s another reason why I’m not here, then I probably will let you know. I hope that you will be blessed, be bold, be brave, and be courageous. I will see you on my next podcast. Have a wonderful day.