Transcript:
Hello everyone, welcome back to another podcast. Thank you for being here. Welcome to Soulish femme with Glennavelle Manarang every Monday and Thursday. Today is I am revisiting. I might have done this as a blueprint for creating the life that you want. We must live not by default but by design. Probably you heard this if you’re following Tonya Leigh. She somehow kind of compare it with being an editor-in-chief. When you’re trying to edit your life, you have to curate your life the way that you want to live.
So for me, I would give you some things to put your house in order and it composes of your environment your home/environment home and space relationships finances/food/health, education/hobbies/activities and your style and fashion. I think because when we become an adult we don’t really have a blueprint or a line or method to our madness, how to live our lives. We somehow are just trying to guess of what life is like or how to really becoming an adult.
What are the priorities?
Relationships
So number one is relationships because I’m trying to get all these things into one thing. So relationship is number one and it comes to dealing with challenges by learning to accept people as they are. Open communication is necessary. It’s about learning to listen to understand. Giving space and time to think for the other person. Observing people and learning their patterns and learning about who they are and where they’re coming from. Keeping a healthy boundary.
So relationship of course also starts with yourself. I always like to talk about filling your empty cup before you can give to others. It’s about understanding yourself better than anybody else. Learning about your traumas, your triggers, what your standards are. It’s about loving yourself first of all. Self-care when it comes to relationship. This is important. As I always like to say that self-care is not selfish.
Self-care is really looking after your well-being mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Because if you are going to show up as a whole person, you can function in optimal level, you can be there for people, you can help your husband or your elderly parents or in-laws that you live with maybe or your children. So it’s important that you have a better understanding of yourself and taking care of your body.
Of course, the next one is finances/money. Keeping a budget if possible. I know that budgeting is very hard for many of us.
Learning to cook a meal and refrain from wasteful cooking the same food trying to understand where your money is going of how much you’re wasting on food repeating the same eating the same food over and over again.
I like to repeat the same food so that you’re not going to constantly try to cook every single day. Sometimes we often get tired of eating the same food, but food for me is something to just hold you up. It is something that’s going to sustain you so that you’re going to be alive.
And then learning how to buy items that are necessary, necessity versus want is another thing about money. Many of us think that wanting to have more stuff is better. When in fact, the more we have, we are being drowned with too much choices. And sometimes we are bombarded with clutter and we cannot really think properly.
Our environment is unbearable. We cannot live peacefully because our environment have too much junk or we have too much clutter. Of course there’s another way to have money is to be generous and giving out of a kind heart. Do not be grudgingly giving out of impulsive or compulsory rather, but give something from your heart. And learning to give without expecting back in return is part of money. And the Bible talks about giving. The more you give, the more you receive.
Because money is an energy. The more you hoard money, the more it’s going to create a hole in your pocket. Because money is something to be shared. It’s something to be given to people who doesn’t have any. Unfortunately, for some people who take advantage of that, that’s why we have to be careful the kind of charity that we support.
We have to make sure that the charity that we support of is not a spam or is not some kind of a bogus online website. So we have to be very careful also when we try to give out the help or support to other people and if possible invest and save. Recently I have been curious about cryptocurrency. It is somehow the talk of the town about the crypto that is happening today. You have the rules and regulation that they’re trying to pass in the Senate or Congress.
And that’s why we have to really be aware of how we can make our money work for us like the rich people. That’s why rich people are rich because even though they’re sleeping and taking vacation and drinking their mai tai on the beach, their money is working for them.
Essential Lessons for Designing Your Life
However, majority of us because finances and money were never taught in school. That was the design because if money were taught in school at the young age, everybody would have their cake and eat it too.
1. Money & Finances
That’s why rich people are rich, because they know how to invest. They save more. They make passive income while they’re sleeping.
They make their money work for them instead of us working for the money. Because if we actually know about the value of money, money is just a tool. Money has no power whatsoever. The problem was that we put too much emphasis on money and we think that money is the problem. when in fact money is somehow a tool for us to use to help other people to pay off our debt.
But because we have been blinded by the matrix system, so we show up for work to get our money’s worth. We show up for work so that we can be paid.
But if you really want to make out in this life, you have to be an entrepreneur. You have to be business-minded. You have to be able to generate income by not relying on one source, by not relying on one income. And we have to understand that when you have so many income coming in instead of spending out, that’s why Warren Buffett says it’s not how much you make, it’s how much you keep.
Needs vs. wants
Unfortunately, because we have so much temptation today, the lust of the eyes, we like to purchase things that we don’t need. And that’s why we always ended up with so much clothes and so much shoes and so much bag that we actually do not need.
And this is where the differentiate between the rich people and the mind poor people. Mind people that are in a poverty mentality is we think that more is good but actually less is more. We think that the more and more we have, the better our lives will become. When in fact, the opposite is true. The more stuff you have and the more you put that on your credit debt, the more likely the most likely you’re going to be stressed.
Because I remember the time when I was in college, I was broke. Nobody helped me financially. I was trying to understand how the money works. And that was a time when I had to make a hard decision between eating or shopping. There was a time in my life when I told myself that if I was not going to be disciplined with my money, if I keep on buying stuff at Macy’s, the makeup that I don’t need and getting a haircut every week because I was depressed, then I would end up being outside living in outside of the street.
So I had to understand how the money works. And that’s when I understood about your variable expenses versus your fixed expenses. How to budget your net income minus your expenses every month. Knowing how much is coming in and how much is going out. And when that time almost like maybe $30 was the leftover in my income because at that time I was spending too much more than I was making.
2. Environment/Space
Features: And then of course, let’s talk about environment and your space. Your environment do matter and your space. When it’s not when it’s not peaceful, when it’s not cozy, you will most likely going to feel stressed, restlessness, and of course, you cannot focus. Decoration like painting, frames, color, and design invoke certain memory. It creates a happy space or a sadness space. So we think that color and painting that we brought into our living room or in the bedroom that you reside in do not matter but they do because we are visuals individual we like to see things with our eyes and that’s why it’s important that if you like to have the environment of coziness and kind of peace you have to probably bring plants in. I love flowers. I like to light candles.
Why Buy: Fragrances do matter when it invokes a certain smell and you can actually feel at peace with that certain smell. Less clutter, having a cozy and inviting environment, organized and tidy. I am not an extreme minimalist, but I tend to become minimal. I only try to buy things intentionally. If I don’t want that stuff, if it’s laying there with no good apparent reason, I will just not buy it or I will not going to keep it. I will either donate them or put them in the garbage dump. I have no problem of eliminating stuff that I don’t need.
3. Fashion/Style
So, you have to understand that your personality, your style, maybe you like to read, so you need to have shelves for your books. You have to collect things that are going to help you become a better version. Do not be a hoarder. There are so many hoarders in this world because we are accumulating stuff that we don’t need.
Cont. on Designing
4. Environment
And so your environment also is creating an ambiance that bringing you peace, an overall aesthetic that wants you to come home. You know, you need to have an environment that you want to be able to rest and relax and really wind down at the end of the day because let’s face it, the world out there is already chaotic. And why would you want to come home to a place where it’s already is also chaotic and there’s too much chaos around you. I know I am not the most perfect obsessed when it comes to cleaning. I also sometimes am a little messy when it comes to it, but I try to understand how to really navigate the things around me and how to get rid of some stuff and trying to put a place where it belongs. You need to have a home for your keys.
Features: Sometimes we misplace things because we don’t have a proper location for your keys. I usually have a small container for our house keys or car keys that we can put it where it belongs. my you know my scarf has its own location. Sometimes when I use my sunglasses I put it back to the right location. Every item has to have a home. We have to be able to understand efficiently and to work effectively because we tend to forget things and we probably are going to misplace things because we don’t have a proper home for the small items.
5. Food/Health
Features: Then of course when you want to have a blueprint for your life is understanding about your food and your health. I put it in one category because you are what you eat according to them because it’s true. If you keep eating junk food and most likely you’re going to gain weight and you’re going to have very bad health. So listen to your body’s needs. Not just because majority of people say it’s good. The quick fix nonsense today to lose weight and to the band-aid of fixing of your body weight is nonsense.
Why Buy: And do not buy whatever they’re selling because these people only want your money and they want to profit out of you. So use your common sense if possible. There’s no such thing as a quick fix when it comes to losing weight. It’s about the lifestyle. It is the daily choices that you make. Drinking lots of water, maybe exercising for 5 to 10 minutes a day, walking outside. I know it’s very hard, especially when it’s cold. Maybe refraining from eating too much junk food and eat fruits perhaps instead of grabbing chips.
Maybe grab some apple or oranges. If instead of drinking too much soda, maybe you can have you can swap it with hot tea or cold beverages that does not have any thing. Don’t get me wrong, I do love soda. I do love my pop and my soda and chips once in a while and burgers and pizza that are greasy.
However, when you think about it, it has a long-term effect in your body and you’re going to gain too much weight. And sleep more and avoid stress. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with noise. We are not allowed to just take a breather and decompress and unplug from our cell phone and try to get out in nature because our world has exchanged nature with too much globalization infrastructure and we no wonder why we’re too stressed and we have no peace of mind and heart.
And that is important to understand that your body is what you have. Health is wealth. It doesn’t matter if you’re the richest person in the world, if you are not healthy, you cannot enjoy your money. Steve Jobs when he was asked when he said, “If I could just have going back to the younger self and have a healthy life, I would buy it in a heartbeat. If I could exchange my health to become youthful and to sustain life, he would probably be here today. Because our life is not our own. We are not guaranteed of tomorrow.
This vessel belongs to the one who created us and it’s up to us how to maintain it and how to sustain it. And if you are not really a person who really loves your body, you’re just going to abuse it. And you wonder why you have too much ailments. You wonder why you have too much ache and pain and you complain about it. It’s insanity really to hear the same problem over and over again and you’re not willing to change and do what’s necessary. And let’s not linger here.
6. Growth:Education/Business
Features: The next one is about your growth/education or/ business. Investing in education is important. Clearly define what you want to achieve and establish a timeline with specific milestone. Educating yourself maybe because you want to grow is important. If you are not willing to grow, you become stagnant. Whatever you don’t use, you will lose it. If you don’t use your mind, you’re going to end up losing it. And then consistency is key.
So commit to taking action every day towards your goals. I got this from Canva, of course. Keep track of your progress and hold yourself accountable for completing each step. Stay focused on your why and remind yourself of the benefits of reaching your goals. So if you want to really grow and mature and have a business, you learn to show up every day for yourself. You cannot wait for people to cheer you on, knock at your door and say, “Let’s go. Let’s do this today.” No cheerleader is going to follow you around and keep on telling you you have to get up and brush your teeth and get dressed and do your job or do what’s necessary.
Why Buy: Especially for the entrepreneur, it takes a lot of discipline. When you want to start your business and you want to have your own podcast and blog and YouTube, guess what? There’s no boss that’s going to knock at your door and making you contribute or show up. You have to understand that this is a long game.
This is a long game where people usually fall off the wagon because they say, “Well, I don’t see any progress. It’s been 5 years now that I’ve been doing this and I don’t see the progress. And many usually quit too soon. They give up on themselves too soon. And that’s why many of them do not see results. That is where most people do not understand that if you are creating a business, ask any business people, they did not arrive just one day.
They did not create their business in a blink of an eye. It took them years of blood, sweat and tears before they have accomplished something.
Thomas Edison who have invented the light bulb, it took him thousands of times until he had completed the bulb the light bulb that we have today. He did not quit.
Just because he failed once and a thousand hundred times, finally a thousand times he committed and he said this is it. And for you and me to understand that principle that when you want to create something because you want yourself to be better and you want to contribute to your future because when you want to create a future it’s about tomorrow. It’s not today.
You plant what you sew. Whatever seed you’re sewing today, it’s not because it’s about one week from now. It’s about the future. So, you have to understand that whatever you’re doing today matters because it’s for your children’s children. That is why if you want to be a person who want to leave a legacy for your children, this is not for a fainted heart.
These are not for the quitters. These are for the people who are going to stay in it and grind no matter how hard it takes. You have to show up day after day, day in and out. No matter what people may think or say about your plan or whatever you’re doing, maybe they will criticize what you’re doing. You’re wasting your time. Let them say whatever they want. Let them talk. But you keep your head down and start focusing. And then of course, let’s talk about fashion and style. Create a style that suits you.
Do not copy everybody around you. You can get inspiration, but creating a style that suits your body, your color, the skin tone of your color. Your clothes are more than just something you wear. Buy quality brands versus quantity.
Of course, it’s very hard, especially when we cannot afford it. Give anything you are no longer wearing. Invest in pieces with timeless, classy, and elegant styles. Less is more. Dress according to your color, palette, and body type.
So, these are about your signature. You are a walking brand. You cannot just pretend like you’re not a walking brand. Do you know that every brand names you put on your body, you’re a walking billboard trying to tell the world that this is exactly the brand that I am committing to. This is the brand that I am actually going to support. So just because you’re wearing Nike or whatever it is that you’re wearing, Prada, Louis Vuitton, H&M, you are a walking billboard. People look at you and going to judge you in a few seconds based on what you wear. I know we’re not supposed to judge the book by its cover, but let’s face it, people judge you all the time.
Whether you like it or not, whether you admit it or not, the moment you walk into a store, depending on what you wear and how you carry yourself, people will always judge you. They know instantly whether you put an effort to yourself or you put a little bit of emphasis on your body because clothing is not just for decoration. It is something to do with your inner beauty. It is something to do of how you feel on the inside out.
It is something to do about who you are as individual. And I think I have already shared this story before that fashion was one of the reasons why I have survived abuse back in high school. I use fashion as a crutch maybe for me to get out of this illusion that I was suffering on the inside and I didn’t I did not want my classmates to know that I was going through something at home that I would create fashion. I would dress up.
Maybe people would say she was dressing up her pain. Maybe it was the case for me. But because I didn’t want to feel bad already about what was happening in my life that I was able to construct an illusion for the outside to see that I was a person that had my life put together that I was had a normal teenage years even though my life was crappy then and I would been through too much abuse but because I used fashion as an inspiration to create something that really was trying to help me survive. It was a survival mechanism that I used fashion. I was always going to the mall, trying to create and recreate different items or different wardrobes.
And for some reason, I felt better every time I dressed up. I felt better about myself when I looked at the mirror. I didn’t feel so sad about my life. I didn’t feel so depressed about my story anymore. that every time I looked in the mirror and I looked good and I felt good about the clothing that I’ve chosen in my body and I would have a different story to tell. Instead of I was a victim, instead of saying woe is me, my life is shitty for the lack of better word. I felt empowered every time I look in the mirror and I was my boots on and I would have my skirt on and I was put on my blazer. I always tell myself that you are going to be important one day that you matter and these are the things that we think that doesn’t really matter to us when we think about the clothing. It’s not just a piece of clothes that you wear.
As I said, it is your branding. It is your signature style. It is what you want the world to portray you as. And then last but not least, because we don’t have time, we talk about hobbies and activities. What are the hobbies that you do? Such as reading a book. This is going to help you invigorate your imagination. Reading a book is going to help you think. Reading a book is going to expand your vocabulary. If you don’t have a good vocabulary is because you don’t read too much. Reading instead of browsing on the internet. And then incorporate dancing into your routine. moving your body. Dance to the rhythm of the music.
Even though you have two left, you have two feet. You have two left foot. Is that what it is? Two left foot, which means you can’t dance. You can actually perhaps walk in nature and tap into your childlike spirit by being curious. I like to color. I have a coloring book. I know it’s very childish probably for people but it somehow makes me feel at peace with myself and makes me feel centered and journaling is also one of the things you can in invigorate your mind when you journal and when you write it helps you think and then sing your heart out. I love singing.
I think sometimes I sing too much that people might wonder that I am very I don’t know. uh chaotic when I sing because I will just sing in my own bedroom and I really somehow choose a song that makes me feel that I can release all of this tension out of my chest and pray your troubles away.
One of the hobbies maybe is that you pray and you invite God wherever you go. Prayer is not something that you just maybe in your closet and then you are going to forget about God. Prayer for me is something that I take with me every day. Maybe when I’m driving, I always God help me to have, you know, take the wheel and just make me aware of my surroundings, you know, help me to be protected everywhere I go. And prayer is also talking to God when you’re when you are cooking, I would say, help me with this recipe.
I mean, there’s so many ways you can incorporate prayer by talking to God in your head. You know sometimes when I go to the store I would ask God guide me of which brand I should choose or which item I should buy and these are the small things the hobbies are the incremental things that you do on a daily basis. Habit is and hobbies can be created in repetition. You don’t have to be rigid. You can actually change them around depending on the season of your life.
And so these are the blueprint that I wish somebody gave me. But if you have this idea that you really know exactly how to design your life and you can use this. I have actually created this through Canva. I’ll try to print this out if I can share this with you to give you a better understanding that these are the things for you to focus on to keep your house in order. These are the wheel that you can help you focus that will help you understand that life is more than just yourself. It it encompasses with so much things in life. Our life is a multi-faceted. We are not one-dimensional people. We are we are who we are based on our environment, our relationship, the money that we have, our food and health, our education, our hobby, our style. These are what you call the system.
But if you want to really thrive in this world, you need to have at least a blueprint, a guideline on how you live your life accordingly, not based on what society tells you. I mean, you can change it around depending on whatever you want. If it doesn’t align with you, if what I’m saying here, it doesn’t align to your truth, it does not resonate with you.
