Transcript:
Hi everyone, welcome back to another podcast. This is Glennavelle Manarang, welcome to Soulish Femme, Real Talk with me. If you are here for the very first time, welcome to my podcast. I usually love to talk without my face unlike what I did face/ podcast. Because it takes a lot of time for me to glam up, put my makeup on and fix my hair. But when I talk over on the not radio on the microphone, I don’t have to do all of that. I don’t have to put more effort. I can just practically wear PJs and it’s fine.
But sometimes I like to change things around. So, that’s what I did the last time I put a video/podcast of how it’s going to be received by the viewers. And today’s topic is always related about prospering body, spirit and soul. That’s exactly the kind of messaging that I usually like to emphasize on my channel. So, today, there are helpful ways that help me truly heal from my trauma, discovering my identity, and constantly challenging myself for growth.
Ways The Things That Had Helped Me:
It’s not always about religion. If you have been here before, I talk about Christianity. I talk about the Bible, about the Lord Jesus Christ of how he helped me. That actually is the number one thing that I would like for you to think about. It’s always about connecting with the vine. It’s all about recognizing that without being aware that God created you. Your identity is not contingent upon what people think or say about you. That’s exactly what I want you to think about this one. But, it’s actually the little things that help me throughout my journey of healing.
It involves art, music, fashion, and my day-to-day habit. You may be wondering to yourself, art, music, and fashion, how in the world is it got to do with healing? You might be surprised.
These Are Some Ways That Helped Me Healed:
Some people maybe is still pounding themselves and asking the question of this big mystery of saying how in the world was she able to survive after going through so much abuse from sexually being abused from being involved with a narcissist for many years and had two abortions? For some people, they might be in mental hospital right now and maybe drug addict or alcoholic because that’s exactly how they numb their pain.
Something to ponder: I can tell you it takes a lot of grit and a lot of the willingness to not give up on yourself. I think that’s the number one thing I would like for you to think about is that there is really no secret in life. If you want to be healed completely is that the willingness to not give up on yourself. You really have to be gritty enough to get up no matter how hard it is. Even if there are days that your body wants for you to stay down and get depressed. I will just get up and get dressed. Instead of getting yourself into this, “Woe is me, my life sucks, and there’s nothing going on in my life.”
1. Fashion
I used to think that fashion also helped me become the person that I am today. I use fashion as my defense mechanism. For some people it might sound absurd and they might ask themselves the question, how in the world can you correlate fashion and survival in the same sentence? But that’s exactly how I compartmentalized my life. I went to school in high school in this country in when I was sixteen years old. I migrated from the Philippines back in 1998 and I just used my sense of loving for clothes. I remember the time when some of my classmates would say, “Maybe someday you will have your own clothing stores because you always dress impeccably. You always have a good taste with clothes.”
I was also told that I was the best dress in my classroom. Mind you, at that time, I wasn’t even thinking about that. All I was doing was that I was trying to invoke a message to people to not feel sorry about me. I did not want people to perceive me that there was something going on behind closed doors that I was actually getting abused and I was actually dealing with traumatizing event in my life and the same was going through depression and suicidal thoughts. I want people to think that I was not going to be bullied because of the circumstances that was happening in my life.
Mind you, I was also bullied in school. But at the same time, I just know that there’s something about carrying yourself and creating an image for the world to see. I kind of created an illusion that I wanted people to perceive me as a strong, confident, smart person, not this poor me immigrant who came from this third world country who have nothing to show who also is pathetic and who have nothing to prove.
So, I actually created fashion as my crutch. If you want to say that word crutch for a lack of a better word. Because I thought to myself, if I am the person who pretended to be okay even though I was not okay, I know that I’m going to get through it. We do whatever it takes. For some people, they take drugs. Some people they take alcohol to get rid of their pain or to numb their pain temporarily. For me, I use fashion. I was always fascinated with makeup because maybe my mom also loved makeup and fashion.
High School Experience
So, I remembered back in high school with my friends. We would always go to the mall. We hang out there before a cellphone was around. We would spent hours inside Deb’s store. I’m not sure if Deb is still around today, but I remembered in this mall in Pennsylvania, we would just change clothes, you know. We try on different outfits, different gowns, and we would have a blast. We would laugh about it. We would talk about it, and we would just create this beautiful outfit and wardrobe. We took pictures of it, me and my other friend back in high school. She used to be my best friend then.
Now we kind of lost track of each other because of the family, but I still remember that we took pictures and we would bring it into her house and we remembered that her little brother was our photographer. We would have all snapshots and different kinds of poses that we would make. For me, it was my outlet to release whatever craziness that was happening behind closed door. It was my way of escape that I had to make sure that even if I was struggling mentally or emotionally, I didn’t want people to see me in a different light.
2. Music
Features: So, you need to be really a strong person or at least brave enough to have an outlet or a a space for you to release whatever madness that you’re going through inside your home. I think that when children have this outlet of artistic or whatever it is that they’re trying to do through music, as I always like to say, music also helped me a lot. There’s different music that has helped me get over my depression. In every excuse me, in every season of my life, there was always some kind of music that was handed to me by God. So when I was going through heartache, there were Christian music that I always listen to, even secular music or worldly music.
You Are Not Alone: I think that we really have to understand that in every journey of our lives, we are being guided by God or by people. When I became a Christian, the first Christian song that I always like to play repeatedly was Here in My Life by Hill Song. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with it, but it’s something between those lines that I wouldn’t be here without you. It’s something to do about I cannot walk on water. You really have to understand the lyrics for you to resonate within your soul.
And that lyrics, every time I listen to it, it really resonated with me because it was only God presence and his strength that helped me went through whatever depression that I was going through, whatever trials that I had to face when I was in my teenage years. Also, another song was During Break Away by Kelly Clarkson. And there’s so many songs that help me just think to myself, there is something about this song that is helping me understand what I’m going through. Sometimes we cannot find the right words to say, but there are some songs that can help us articulate on what we’re trying to say to the world.
There is something that can resonate with the song of what’s happening inside our soul that we don’t have to tell the world about it but we know it. It’s between you and yourself. Another song right now that is actually relevant to my life is She Used to Be Mine uh by Sarah Barreilles. If I butchered her name, I apologize. She used to be mine also is a song that I have constantly keep on replaying because it resonates with me. It’s something to do about grieving about your past. Recognizing that some relationship is gone and over with.
Some men in your life are not capable of loving you. That sometimes no matter how much you give, if some people are blind enough not to see it, it’s actually not on you but it’s on them. It is about reflection of coming to know the new version of yourself. She used to be mine. I already did a podcast about this several weeks ago. It’s something to do about recognizing that you don’t need to stay with the kind of past that you had. You have the chance to shed the old version of you and start a newer version of you. bolder, happier, saner, and wiser, hopefully.
3. Art
Features: And so another thing that I would like for you to think about is an art. Art also play an integral role in my healing journey. As I said, it’s not about only Christianity because there’s no such thing as secular and Christianity because I really think that if you are going to incorporate this together because everything that we have is given by God, artist, musicians, fashion, nothing is really bad per se when you look at in that kind of perspective. And art for me also is an expression. every time I walk into a museum. Thankfully for me, I had the privilege of visiting the art of Philadelphia met in New York, Guggenheim. There were just some few of the museums that I visited in my lifetime that really embedded this kind of resonance in my spirit that says people in the old days truly had this vivid imagination and they actually used it and they have given it to us as a gift for us to enjoy today.
Some people may not understand why art is very important that it actually portrays something that we may not understand in a superficial level. Only people that have keen eyes to see who truly will understand that art is an important thing. It sends a message. It invokes some imagination to us to make us understand. like Picasso. Some of his art is abstract and some of the things that Michelangelo and other greatest artists like Van Go, they have different kinds of messaging and we can depict the kind of visuals that trying to impress in our lives. But it’s up to us how to interpret it.
But at the same time, every time I look at art, it it kind of make me rest in my soul or it makes me be at peace that there must be a perfection in heaven. Not to say that I am an artist myself. I just have the kind of appreciation for the art. Although I like to color. It’s probably the way that I can express my artistic. When you’re a child, you have crayons or watercolor and then you just have to use that. Sometimes I use it for the coloring book that expresses my artistic side. I usually like to redecorate my place, rearrange my furniture, inviting plants and flowers, anything that can alleviate my anxiety. Sometimes lighting a candle invoke a certain fragrance that helps me soothe my nerves.
4. – Journaling:
As technology rapidly evolves, staying updated with the latest gadgets can significantly enhance your daily productivity and entertainment. Whether you`re a tech enthusiast or looking for the perfect gift, these top 5 gadgets of 2025 offer cutting-edge features and innovative designs. From smartwatches to portable chargers, explore our curated list of the must-have devices this year.
5. Affirmations
Another thing is talking to someone or to yourself in the mirror. Affirmations. It’s telling yourself that you got this. It’s cheering yourself on. Even though you don’t want to get out sometimes or you don’t want to do anything, but you force yourself to do it anyway.
You have to tell yourself to snap out of it. You have to encourage yourself that this too shall pass. There are little exercises that when you truly do them repeatedly, the impact is so great that you have no idea that it’s actually making you a better version of yourself.
6. Movement
Then let’s not forget about how important it is to exercise, about looking after your body. It’s about movement and trying to release any tensions of your body, relaxation, breathing, meditation, doing yoga and Pilates.
Perhaps some people might say yoga is anti-biblical or it’s not a Christian. I think as I always like to say as long as your motive is to do everything unto the Lord there is no such thing as secular in Christianity. I do yoga not because I want to do the mantra or the whatever that they say the or the kind of thing that some people are trying to invoke spirituality but for me I do it for stretching.
It’s about releasing any tensions that I’m carrying. Especially for us as women, our tension is carried through our shoulders, our back, we hunch back. Actually, we are not aware of it. But if you’re not really careful of your posture, it sends a signal that all of that hunch back because of the tension that you’ve been carrying along the way. So, these are important to be aware of.
Listening to soothing music. These are the things that I always like to do. Sometimes I listen to affirmations. I would close my eyes for 30 minutes or however long the affirmation is and I would just understand what the person is saying. One of the things that I also like to do is that going into the dark room which is in my closet sometimes.
And for some people this is crazy. It is uncomfortable to sit with being comfortable. It is actually uncomfortable because you are interrogating yourself. It’s between you and your own thoughts. there’s no one else there. And I’ve done this many times. Either you do this laying in your bed while your head is covered with blanket and you just ask yourself honest questions.
How are you feeling today? With no filter. And I’m just blunt about it. And I would cry sometimes when I spend my hours in that dark room. It is the calling of your soul. It is the way hour of truly navigating the nitty-gritty of what in the world is bothering you. And for some people, they like to escape this exercise because they don’t want to face their own demons. They don’t want to see what’s lurking underneath it. They just want to run away from it because it’s very raw. And for me, if you’re not going to be honest with yourself anyway, if you’re not going to do this exercise, you’re never going to do it. That was really the way for me to release all of this tension.
I would never understood that I had mother wounds buried in my soul and father wounds buried in my soul. If I never did the work, if I never taken the time to sit with my pain in the dark room, I would never understand myself better. That’s where I fully understood that I had so many issues from childhood until adulthood because God show it to me.
God actually is going to give you the time to really sit with your pain. That’s why in Lamentations it says let him sit alone and stay quiet. Let him sit alone in stillness. Let him sit alone with his thoughts and interrogate the root causes of his issues. Anger issues, pride issues, abandonment. Our anger is actually the result of the pain that we have incur or felt as a child.
Anger is the consequences of the pain that was caused to us by people, done to us by other people.
It’s due to childhood trauma. It’s about the abuse, neglect, abandonment, & betrayal.
They had departed from the city lying in the mud. A very thin silhouette stretched on the horizon, barely strong enough to support the weight of a distant city, which still lay upon it. They were free from paths, free from people, and a shared sense of liberation filled them all.
The ship moved steadily through small waves that splashed her and then fizzled like sparkling water, leaving a little trail of bubbles and foam on each side. The dull October sky above was lightly veiled as if by smoke from a fire, and the air was refreshingly salty and brisk. Indeed, it was too chilly to stay still.
Mrs. Brown took her husband`s arm, and as they walked away, it was clear from the way her tilted cheek turned up to his that she had something private to share.
Let go of control
That’s why God said do not avenge yourself. It’s not your job to avenge the wrongdoings that has been done in your life. It’s actually God’s job to a vindicate you. It’s not your job to take matters into your own into your own hands because you are actually just robbing yourself of the life that God wants for you to have.
So if you’re constantly thinking about other people of what they have done you wrong or you’re constantly asking yourself the question, how can I retaliate? it’s wasting your time. Instead, you should use that energy.
You should fuel your energy towards a better goal, a better life, a better future. That’s why, as I said, invest in yourself. The only equation you can control is you.
That’s the only variable you have is within yourself is to go back to school if need be. Take some classes, have a hobby, walk out the park, do some dancing, yoga, whatever it is. As long as you’re occupied with your time and you are not constantly obsessing about your past, because obsessing about your past is not going to get you anywhere. It’s going to constantly want you to be depressed. And last but not the least, of course, is have faith.
So fashion, art, music and faith. These are some of the greatest tools that have helped me get better in my journey with healing.
So faith without action is dead. And God said that to those who have faith, they are blessed because you cannot just wait for people to fix you. You have to put your one foot after the other. You have to choose to get up time and time again. You have to choose yourself over and over again.
No matter how hard it is, even if the people around you are going to drag you back down to where you’re at and remind you of your past, you have to be willing enough to say that’s already done. The past is already gone.
Glennavelle
I cannot go back there. It’s been buried. The past is something that is part of my life, but it it’s not who you are. You don’t have to be determined by your past. You cannot allow people to tell you that you are your past, that you’re never going to get better because that is just full of baloney. It’s a big fat lie from the pit of hell.
You do have a choice to either grow and go into a higher places and tell yourself that even if I have been through hell but God had given me the opportunity to be bold and to grow and to use my story to glorify God. That’s why the Bible in Revelation it says we have overcome by the blood of the lamb and the power of our testimony. That is why our testimony, our story matters and sharing it to people.
Here are three takeaways:
Conclusion:
Hopefully, it will give them an inspiration and motivation to follow your footsteps and to be inspired by your story and telling themselves that if she could do it, I too can do it. And that is why this is exactly that I want you to think about that these are the helpful ways that I have used to help me to become the person that I am today. So, I hope that you’re bold..
