Transcript:
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Welcome back to another podcast. Today’s topic is about dealing with difficult people. I have searched on my playlist. I thought I’ve done an episode about this. Apparently not. Especially holidays is right around the corner. We are going to be involved or visit our loved ones or maybe you are the ones who going to host the party on Christmas Day or New Year’s Eve.
Nevertheless, even if we do not host a party, we also live with this kind of people. So difficult people usually are someone who are not always going to be on our side. They usually try to provoke us, push our buttons. They will also try to humiliate us, gaslight us, even if they are family members per se or maybe you married to someone like that, narcissistic people.
Understand Your Patterns.
Because today is about how do we differentiate between being nice to people that are constantly doing the same thing. They have the same pattern. You know them by their fruit according to Jesus. And I talk so much about this problem because I have encountered in my own life many forms of narcissistic people.
Narcissism I think is a spirit. It is not something that you can cure. You cannot medicate it. Because a person that is narcissistic, the fruit of their spirit is pride. It is their ego.
And you know who is the author of ego. And you know who is the father of all pride.
Jesus even said it. He is the father of all lies. He is actually the murderer from the beginning. And he was Lucifer before he became Satan. So we live in a time where people are now manifesting their true God. They are now enveloping and embodying the one who is actually functioning inside their body. This is why Jesus said you must not be involved with these kind of people.
Even Paul said it, you must not have been equally yoked with an unbeliever because light and darkness will not going to blend in because the darkness will be exposed eventually. The problem is when you married someone who is unequally yoked and you are probably is already tied in with this person. You’ve already married this person because you didn’t know that that person will turn out into a covert narcissist and because covert narcissism is a very tricky creature. They are good at hiding.
The overtly narcissistic people: they’re very showy, they’re very outgoing, and grandiose. You know what to expect. But when you have someone that is covert, they are the trickiest kind. They’re like a snake. They will slither their way through your life.
Even Paul said, “Many women fall into their enticement. They lured women that are gullible, because of their charm, because of their tactic.” And do you know who is very cunning? It was the serpent in the Garden of Eden. Eve was be was beguiled and enticed by the serpent because of lies, manipulation, deception and the charm.
How do we deal with these people? You must accept them for who they are.
This is why as a person dealing with this kind of people, we must realize as much as it is hard to grasp that we do not wrestle against blood and flesh that our warfare is not people. It is the spirit that lives inside the people. It is the spirit that governs them.
1. Accept them for who they are.
So without further ado, how do we deal with these people? You must accept them for who they are. Changing and hoping that they will change and trying so hard to twist your arm or their arms to hopefully that they will change is not going to cut it. They need deliverance. They need a lot of prayers. You need a lot of prayers. This is why Jesus also put a lot of boundaries. Okay? You need to have boundaries with his people. Even Jesus when you read in Matthew, I’m going to read to you the verse in Matthew 12:34-37 when he encountered the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the high priests in his day, these were demonic people. And Jesus did not sugarcoat things. He exposed them.
So you two must not sugarcoat things and say, “Yeah, these people are actually they’re not going to harm me or they’re actually always have the benefit of the doubt.” No, you must call evil and dark and light. You cannot say, “Well, he is just maybe having a hard day or maybe he has just a bad day at work.” No. If the pattern is consistent and if he hasn’t changed or she hasn’t changed and you see the same pattern, these people are truly demented and they are demonically possessed by satanic entity that they are refusing to repent of their sin.
Listen to what Jesus said. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? Listen to what people say when they’re pissed off at you.
When they’re mad at you, the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him.
An evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. This is why when you listen to a narcissist person when they talk, especially when they’re upset, they will gaslight you. They will bring up the past that no longer serves you that is already been done and gone. They will humiliate you. They will going to guilt you up because exactly what Jesus said when a person is good because his heart is full of light and goodness he will just speak love and peace and no chaos and conflict.
However, the distinction between good and a bad man when you’re dealing with a narcissist, that mouth will curse you, gaslight you, humiliate you, and going to bring up the past. Has nothing to do with the present conversation.
Pay attention to people, especially when dealing with narcissists.
They will not listen. Their heart is so closed up. their mind is been darkened by a demonic entity. Even if you try so hard to get your point across, they will twist your words. They will make it about you.
They will blame you all the time. This is the pattern that I have learned to observe about difficult people. They’re evil. They’re wicked. these people as what Jesus said brood of vipers. You know them when they speak to you. It is all about divide and conquer.
There is no peace with someone when they are demonically been possessed by Satan. That their guard is Satan. That’s why Jesus said, “I am the prince of peace. I give you peace that the world cannot give you.”
But the wicked people, they have no peace. They cannot sleep good at night. They will always try to think about what can I get back at her for? How can I retaliate?
Another thing about difficult people is that you must not engage with them. You must be direct to the point and you must be clearly concise of what you’re trying to articulate because as I said, they have a tendency to nitpick and to cherry pick the words that you not you did not even say. But sometimes you have to constantly repeat yourself so that they will understand what you’re trying to say because as I said they lack understanding.
Foolish people is equivalent in the Bible. There are difficult people. Foolish people lack of comprehension because when you start talking to them they will go in circle. They will go nowhere. And at by the time you’re done speaking to this difficult people the issue has not been resolved. the issue because he’s going to the same issue about talking to the same thing. He repeats himself like a broken record.
They have not fully developed in their brain. They are actually stuck in their pubescent. They were not properly taught how to manage their emotion. They have fragile ego and they also lack accountability. The sad part with difficult people is that even if you call them out, they will still find a way to blame it on you that you’re the villain. This is why they never grow up.
People who never take an accountability because they thought you are always the problem. I am holier than thou. I am perfect. Therefore, I am not at fault. You are at fault. This is why many of difficult people never grow up. They never manage their emotions because it’s a lot easier to blame it on other people.
It’s a lot easier to point the finger and say you actually is the problem here and I do not have any issue. When in fact when you see these people I know some people in my life she actually is a troublemaker and some people in her life. Because they were so blinded by her manipulative tactic. She knows how to control people, manipulate people and triangulate people because she was so good at it that the people in her life was unable to see what she was doing but based on her story wherever she went there she was creating chaos and drama and I’m thinking to myself Am I the only one not to see the bigger picture here?
That she is the common denominator that everywhere she goes, she creates conflict, drama, and chaos. But the person in her life was so blinded. This is how Satan blinds the heart and the mind of people because Satan is so good at cunning people. He pulled the string like a puppeteer. And this is why this woman is doing the same thing with this person, pulling the string like a puppeteer. And she was able to manage that until I came along.
And I actually said it for what it is. Because this kind of entity is so invisible. It has been in her life for such a long time that she has been demonically challenged like Jezebelic spirit. When you read the Bible, Ahab was the king of Israel. This is why God was very specific saying do not marry someone that is not the same with your religion who did not come from the Judaism Judeo belief system. They were forewarned. The Israelites were actually been warned by God, do not marry someone except by my own ordinance.
However, Ahab did not listen to God’s instruction. So, he married Jezebel.
And Jezebel was able to assassinate and kill many prophets because of her cunning, because of her manipulative, controlling tactic that she was able to persuade the king Ahab to bow down to her many gods. She was able to usurp his authority by saying, “I don’t believe in one true God anymore.” Ahab was able to go against whatever Yahweh God said to Ahab, “You must not have any other gods according to the law of Moses. You only obey me and you should not have any other gods and many gods. Only I am the Lord your God.” However, because of Jezebelic spirit can be a man and a woman. But they have one thing in common, controlling. They are manipulative. They are deceptive. They are vindictive. These are the spirit of Satan himself.
Therefore, when we deal with difficult people, we must understand that these people are blind. They are discerned. That’s why in the New Testament Paul said these people have been darkened their eyes. They have been alienated from the will of God.
Glennavelle
So instead of dealing with them an eye to eye, a tooth for a tooth, what Jesus say? When your enemy is thirsty, give them something to drink. When they are hungry, feed them. You do not curse this people. You pray for them for their salvation. Because two wrongs do not make it right. Do not repay evil for evil because we are just probably not better than them. If you are going to stoop down to these people’s level, even if you just sometimes want to, you need to have the restraint of the Holy Spirit.
So that this is something that we can avoid at all cost. This is a trap from the devil. The devil wants to divide and conquer people. And that’s his job from the very beginning. Jesus even said it. The evil one, the devil likes to kill, to destroy and to steal things. He wants to destroy relationship. He wants to kill many relationships. He wants to create drama, chaos, conflict. But these people are unaware that they’re being the pawn of Satan. And these people are blinded.
As I said, they don't know any better. This is why Isaiah 40:31 says, "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk in faith."
We as the bigger version or better person in the room who knows better than these people, we must wait upon the Lord. We must not take matters into our own hands. We must not avenge ourselves because it’s not in our place. That’s why in Chronicles it says you must stand your ground. You must take your side and let God vindicate you for the wrongdoings of people. God always is watching. The Lord does not slumber nor sleep. He has a recorder that is going on 24 hours, 7 days a week. He does not take off and go on vacation.
God is watching to and fro to the west to the east from the north to the south who are wicked and he knows the whisper that is happening behind closed doors without you even there. This is why I firmly believe that as a person when you truly have the spirit of God, you have no time for pettiness. You have no time for drama. You have no time for being nosy in somebody else’s business because your life is full. However, the difficult people are nosy. They will backstab you. They will gossip about you even if the rumor is not true because they are wicked.
They have no life. They have no fulfillment. They have no vision. They have no drive. They have no passion in life. They don’t know what they’re here for. They have no purpose. There’s a difference between a people who have purpose. They are actually driven with ambition. They know exactly their goal is they are too busy living their life to the fullest because they know where they’re going.
Clarity gives you vision.
However, the people that are lazy, complacent, they have no vision. That’s why the Bible is clear. A man or a woman without a vision, she or he will perish. He will diminish. He will just going to be a vegetable. He is going to just be apathetic, lethargic, and he’s not going to move anything because that’s what you call a difficult person.
Difficult people also, you want to know, they will compare. They like to compete. They think that everything is a competition with you. They always keep tab. They are not genuinely generous. This people when they give something, they want everybody to know about it because difficult people have no substance. They’re all about barking. They’re all about showing a grandeur. I am a strong person. But when you see underneath it, if you push these people’s button, they will show their true colors. They have no strength. It’s all about masquerade.
Difficult people are good at having this austerity of trying to be grandiose for people to see that I am so strong and I’m confident. But you have mistaken cockiness with confident because confidence does not shout. Confidence does not show. Confident people they are not going to perform. They are just going to exist by not sometimes speaking cockiness. However, people that are cocky, people that have no self-confidence, there are just luck of it.
Therefore, they will try that they are the alpha male. They will have this show as if they’re clowns in a circus. But when you oppose their opinion, the moment you contradict their point of view, my goodness, they will show you that underneath of all of that show, underneath of that show is no substance. There is no strength. It is a foundation. That’s why Jesus said this people is on a sinking sand. Their foundation is not built on a rock of ages where it’s going to be standing in times of storm. You know, you’ve seen this people.
They have charm. They have this je ne sais quoi. It seems as though their life is put together on the outside. They loud. They are so obnoxious. They like to put on the show. They actually create this chaos and drama because they’re petty. And the moment you actually just do not be impressed by their performance, you’re the one who just see it for what it is. Like, I’m not impressed.
You don’t have any emotions to show because you truly think that they’re just performing and they don’t know what to do with that. Narcissistic people have always been this way because they were enabled by other people. They did not know any better because they were tolerated to perform like that and to lie to other people. So all their life they have been conditioned to perform. They have been tolerated to act to be someone that they’re not.
And when they encounter someone like us, maybe you have this gift of discernment. It is the spirit of God that gives you the eyesight, the insight to see that people truly are not who they are. People are good at masquerading. You don’t know the kind of mask that people wear. People wear different kinds of mask. They will perform at every cost because they want to manipulate people or they’re because of full of insecurity.
They don’t want to show their authentic side. They don’t want to really be perceived as less confident even though on the inside they’re actually full of wounded childhood trauma that they don’t want to invest in healing. So this is why dealing with difficult people is that you just let them be. I know it’s a concept that I think Mill Gibson, I don’t know her real name is, not the actor that says, “Let them be who they are.”
It actually coincide with what Jesus say. It actually is from the Bible. When Jesus let let them be who they are, it’s about accepting people of where they’re at. You cannot really change people unless it is by the spirit of God. Only the spirit of God can truly transform a man’s heart. Remember what happened to Saul, not Saul between David. It is Saul before he became Paul.
Saul is a very good illustration and give example that he was a transformed man when he was on his way to Damascus and he was blinded because he encountered the Lord Jesus Christ. When Jesus asked him, Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? And Saul asked, “Who are you Lord? I am the Lord Jesus Christ whom you are persecuting.” Because at that time Saul hated Christians. He did not like Christians. And so he actually asked a letter from the high priest saying, “Can I go door-to-door and like you know do something imprison this people?”
Even though Saul and the Christians were just minding their business, but because it’s exactly what Jesus said, you will be hated in this world. Not because of us. We are hated because of what we represent, light. The darkness cannot stand the light and the truth. So especially in this world, the people who actually are telling the truth are being assassinated by now. People who are exposing lies, they’re being targeted by now because we do not wrestle against blood and flesh.
Our enemy is Satan from the very beginning. He is been the ancient foe that he cannot stand the light. He cannot stand the truth. This is why when you have the truth in you, you are being single-handedly targeted. And we see this in all history. We see this even in the life of Jesus. He was crucified because he exposed the very thing of this people. They’re religious heathen.
And he actually told them that you guys are blasphemous brood of vipers. You’re abominable in the eyes of God. You pretend to be someone on the outside, but internally you are full of wickedness. You are not good people. And Jesus exposed his people for who they are. And this is why he was being crucified. This is the kind of cost. That’s what Jesus said. If you want to be my disciples, you have to pick up your cross and follow me. It is denial of yourself.
This is why sometimes we cannot have two gods. You can you cannot have two masters. You either bow down to the true God or you don’t. This is the reason why in Saul he was blinded for three days. And when he opened his eyes, when God when Jesus told him, go to this man’s house, I forgot the name. He will open your eyes and he’s going to heal you.
And there were scales, fish scales coming out of his eyes because Jesus opened his eyes to the truth and he his life was transformed. That’s why you cannot change difficult people. You can only change them by prayer and by hoping that they will repent of their sin, hoping that they will realize that what they have been doing is wicked and crooked. And had they have been blinded by the prince of this world which is the prince of darkness that has been beguiling men for many generations. That’s why Jesus said the blind leading the blind.
Many people are blind because they are not able to see. They have eyes but they do not see. They have ears but they do not understand. And they have a heart but they do not perceive. This is why when we look at people that are wicked and difficult, they are governed by a demonic entity. Whether you believe in spirituality or not, but you see this in the Bible. Demons are real. The devil is real.
This is why it’s so hard to believe that the devil exists because we live in this modern generation. If I were the devil, according to this video that I’ve listened many months ago on YouTube, I forgot which one it is. If I were the devil. I will pretend like I do not exist. If I were the devil, I’m going to pretend like there’s no such thing as invisible force that is going to deceive people’s mind so that you’re just gonna fight amongst each other.
If I were the devil, I am going to pretend like your enemy is actually the people next to you or the person next to you so that you guys are just going to, you know, be on each other’s throat. But this is the kind of deception that has been going on for many years that many humans are still not grasping because they will pretend or invalidate the idea that evil does exist. If there is goodness, there must be bad. If there is darkness, there must be a light.
If there is god of truth, there must be a god of lie. If there is a god of peace, there must be a god of chaos. It is the contradiction because this is exactly what happens when humans do not want the god of truth and god of love and a god of peace reign in their hearts. And who is going to come and play? It’s the devil himself. So, this is why when wicked people and difficult people we deal with them, it is something to do with their spirit. It is something to do with the entity that governs their heart, their soul and their mind. They are not their own.
That’s why in the Bible, Jesus encountered many possessed men and women. And when Jesus encountered the demon, isn’t it funny how instead of running away from Jesus because they were so afraid of his light, they were running towards him. They were actually saying, “Jesus, what are you going to do with us? Are you going to torment us? It’s not even our time yet to be tormented. And Jesus said, “What is your name?” Remember the time when this man was possessed by many legions. And then they asked him if he can just not send us to hell, but send us to the pig, the swine that was running towards them.
And this is the kind of demonic entity that we see in men. Their eyes will turn black. I have seen it in people’s eyes when they become so angry. their eyes turn black. Narcissistic people that are difficult when they’re pissed off, they turn into this demonic entity. You see, their eyes is shut and it becomes really black and it’s scary. they become possessed because as I said without the spirit of God himself you are being embodied by a darker spirit and it will manifest in the way you speak in the way you look in the way that you are going to carry yourself. We need to pray for these people.
We need to sometimes fast for these people. We need to really intercede for this people’s soul because sometimes we just cannot really fight with a sword because these people are actually beyond repair.
