Transcript:
Hello everyone! Welcome to the first episode of 2026. Of course, I’m recording this ahead of time. Today’s episode is titled The Prize for Being Relevant. Is remaining relevant a survival mechanism for women in this century? Freedom or imprisonment? According to the definition of relevant, it is said appropriate to the current time, period or circumstances of contemporary interest.
Yes, many women are afraid of being old and growing old and keeping up with the appearance and the constant battle of staying thin and youthful is an ongoing problem that we all face as a woman.
Know your standards
Because society for some reason made us believe, especially now that social media has this unrealistic standards for women, young and old, and to keep up with celebrities, influencers alike, models, and to name a few.
This is why for many women, we think that when we step out of alignment, not according to the standard.
We feel as though we’re not good enough, as if we’re not beautiful enough, we’re not thin enough.
We are not probably aging according to the standard because aging apparently is a sin in this generation that growing older is somehow a taboo.
Apparently, I beg to differ because aging and growing older is part of life. If you’re not aging and you’re not growing according to your age, then something’s wrong with you. Then that’s actually questionable.
So the question I have is how to remain relevant?
Remaining relevant without compromising our souls without going by the standard in this society that is unrealistic and it’s actually sometimes ludicrous or ridiculous. Because why would we want to follow a standard that first, as I said, it is fully full of superficial. Sometimes you kind of look at their standard of beauty they all look alike.
They look the same: thin, skinny, the face features, the same nose, the same symmetrical chin, whatever lip job that they have done, the filler, and the constant trying to get a Botox done. I mean, the game or the endless pursuit of standard of perfection, it is sometimes going disarray or becoming outrageously crazy.
So, to remain relevant without compromising your soul. I have few suggestions:
1. Embrace who you are.
One is embracing who you are by celebrating your current age. So you have to really understand that if you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s or 50s or even in your I don’t know teenage years into 100 years. You learn to embrace the current age. Stop looking around to feel sorry for yourself that you’re actually aging. I’m in my 40s right now and I can tell you that I would not go back because when I was in my 20s, I did not know a lot of things before. I was dumb. I was naive. I was gullible.
Anecdotal: Just the person who was clueless. I had no direction. Now that I’m in my 40s, I’m learning that I am becoming more confident, knowing exactly what I want, embracing my quirkiness, and learning about my strengths and my weaknesses that I’m trying to improve.
Therefore, you have to really understand and what is 40s What does she want right now? What does she look like? What are the things that she embraces and what doesn’t she like anymore when she was in her 20s.
2. Do not apologize for aging.
Then secondly, of course, stop apologizing for aging and growing older. The problem is that we allow society to dictate to us this one-size-fits-all standard of beauty and we try to compromise. We try to fit into their unrealistic category. And so what we do? We actually apologize for being old. We feel as though we have to compromise or apologize to exist just because we have wrinkles or we have sogginess now that our chin is doubled.
Because we allowed, as I said, society to dictate to women of what beauty standard is and we got to stop doing that. We have to stop allowing this corporation or corporate or whoever these people are who have decided a long time ago that in order for you to become relevant in this world, you must look a certain way, dress a certain way, appear a certain way. It’s full of baloney because you are not just limited to your appearance.
3. Keep working on your growth.
Number three is recognizing that growth is essential. Not just to self-focus on the outside appearance, but the inner beauty. Isn’t it sad that we tell younger women to constantly look the part, stay thin, your face must be symmetrical, your face must look like a model, whatever it is.
But they never really tell you that the greatest beauty to invest in is looking within you. is looking within your soul of what’s happening there of why you have all these issues of insecurity, why do you have issues of jealousy, envy, why do you have no self-confidence.
Because we have been conditioned as women in our generation that appearance sells. That you are going to be the most influential person in the room or a woman in the room if you just have the size of a model. If you are size two and six foot tall, I mean as I said this standard has been probably developed by men in the longest time because their standard is obviously some something to condition women that this is exactly the kind of gauge that we expect women to have.
But in reality, look around you. Women come in different faces and sizes, colors whether you like it or not. As I said, it would be absurd to only accept one standard of beauty and just altogether ignore the rest, which is what you call bias and it is actually being prejudiced. If you think about equality right now and you demand about everybody has to be treated and fairly and has to be represented, wouldn’t you think that the same thing with beauty? You cannot really expect people that this specific beauty is what according to the society who set the standard anyway. I’m pretty sure some people did to make money.
Cont. on remaining relevant:
4. Refrain following unnecessary trends.
And number four, refrain following trends. If you really want to stay relevant without compromising your soul in the 21st century, you must lean towards class and timelessness that will stand throughout the test of time. Because classy, timelessness, these things will not grow out of style. You’re not going to be irrelevant because they will going to stick whether it’s in your wardrobe, whether it’s in your appearance, whether it’s how you developed etiquette or developed your character. These things are not something to be tainted by society.
Note Worthy: Even if the whole world is going to make you follow a certain trend in the moment, but if you know exactly what your standards are, you’re not going to compromise because you know why? You know exactly what you’re about. You know your philosophy. You know what you compromise and you don’t compromise. You know your standards. You know exactly what you tolerate and you don’t tolerate. And that’s what I said. The greatest investment you can do for 2026 is learning who you are.
5. Grieve your past age
And my next point is really learning that you have to grieve the past self by acknowledging that even if you no longer look like your old self in your 20s and 30s, but still she’s part of you. And I have to do this because sometimes you look at yourself in the mirror and you no you do no longer look like the person in your 20s and you have the same character but you acknowledge the fact that she is actually been buried a long time ago. That version of me that was gullible, naive, easily being manipulated.
She is no longer there. She was been acknowledged and I have to cry about that part of my version. I also have to acknowledge the fact that I used to be this girl of feisty. I was very aggressive and volatile due to my abuse. And I’m learning that now that my anger issues in my early 20s was because I was battling every aggression or suppressing so many secrets in my life. And as I always like to say, people that have anger issues, it turns into volatility because they have suppressed their emotion and they have been trying to hide, deny, and try to pretend like it’s nothing there. But eventually that anger has a root cause.
There is a wound that has been festering that has been trying for you to acknowledge, admit, and confess.
But majority of people are in denial. And I used to be that person. I used to live in a lie, living double lives. On the outside appearance, I look like I was a happy girl, teenager, clubbing, living my life. But inside at my own place, I would have all this sleepless nights trying to navigate my emotions, battling with suicidal thoughts and depression.
So those were the things that I want you to understand that in every journey, whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, there’s always a lesson to be learned. As I said in my 40s right now, I am learning so much about myself.
I am learning so much about what I no longer tolerate and the things that I tolerate. I am learning so much about my standard, the things that I used to compromise before.
Right now, I said to myself, I could no longer be with people just because I am trying to be with people. I’m no longer in this space where when I was younger, I just allow people to be in my circles. I was very welcoming. I loved to make friends. I had so many different friendships when I was in high school and college because I did like to be surrounded with different varieties of people, different personalities.
However, when you become older and you want peace instead of recognition, I rather want to be surrounded with people that are only few.
As long as they have the same mindset, they’re authentic, they will celebrate your milestone without being in competition with you. Because I have realized that people will always show who they really are. Just give them time. Time is your best friend. People will always show you who they are. Because I have realized that with friendships, some are truly not real friendships. They only want to be in your circle because they either want to compete with you or they constantly want to outshine you or they constantly to uh try to make you believe that you are not really better than them.
And I don’t like those kind of friendships. I rather want to be by myself and love my own company and be my own best friend instead of surrounded with phonies that I have to keep performing. I have to keep on pretending to be someone that I’m not. It’s exhausting to perform. I think I have come to realize that it is not worth time and energy and my effort to be with people that I have to perform to be liked that I have to be accepted and I have to have this mask on because that mask is becomes heavy and eventually whatever facade whatever masquerade you’re trying to hide you’re going to be found out eventually.
It’s a lot harder to put up a show. It’s a lot harder to pretend to be someone that you’re not instead of being authentic instead of showing up for who you are. And as a people pleaser, I have lived that kind of life. I was changing and twisting my narrative or changing my character based on who was watching and who was with me. I was trying to impress.
So, I would adjust my attitude. I was adjusting every single time until to a point where you no longer recognize who you really are because you keep adjusting based on the people that you are with. And it’s exhausting, right? I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I’m saying that when you are truly not in touch with yourself. You will be trying to impress everybody, you try to be liked, accepted, validated to a point where you no longer know who you are.
And I have seen this play out over and over again with people where they try to masquerade like covert narcissistic. I told you covert narcissistic are the greatest example that I can give you because these people will have two different types of personalities. One on the outside for the world to see. Their friends will get a different version of them. Their co-workers will get a different version of them. They will probably be the most patient person with you, the most helpful person with you, and they are the most friendliest person with you. But behind closed doors, they will take off their mask.
And these individuals are usually emotionally detached, physically present, but they are disconnected from you. They’re avoidant. They’re actually sometimes abusive. If you are going to trigger them and their true colors were show, you know why they will their true colors were show because no one’s watching because now they’re actually comfortable in their own house that no one is watching them. Instead of treating everybody alike, whether you are CEO to janitor, being kind and courteous is a common decency when you think about it.
But regardless of your status in life, regardless whether you’re young or old, respect is not based on age. Respect is not based on your status or how much money you have in the bank. But many people that are narcissist or especially covert who do not really know who they are, they have no substance.
As I said, they will pretend to be confident, but it’s actually cockiness. And when you look truly within the within their character, there’s no substance there. There’s really nothing but just a scream and all superficial. So you know the difference between a person who have not really healed yet and a person who fully know exactly who they are, what they’re about because confidence does not scream. Confident people doesn’t have to shout. Confident people do not need to your attention. They don’t require to holler, scream, and be obnoxious in front of people because they know who they are. They’re very secure of what they’re about.
And you see the juxtaposition of the two characters. So this is why it’s important that you must learn to celebrate every milestone or every win about your life.
And never be afraid to recreate yourself over and over again because when you try to learn about yourself, it’s just a trial and error. It’s about knowing that okay, maybe in my 20s I was such a people pleaser. I just invite people in because I was afraid of being alone. I don’t want to be perceived as a loner.
But nowadays I’m in my 40s. I think that even though I am alone, it doesn’t mean I am lonely. There’s a difference between being alone and loving your company instead of being a loner. People confuse you. Just because you’re alone eating at the restaurant, it doesn’t mean you’re lonely.
Glennavelle
People think that just because you’re shopping by yourself, it doesn’t mean you’re lonely. Because, as I said, I rather want to have my own company that is reliable that that I don’t have to deal with drama, conflict, chaos instead of having five, three different people and I have to deal with chaos, drama, and confusion. And that’s exactly why peace is a new currency right now for me that I am tired of drama. I am sick and tired of chaos and conflict. I used to love those things when I was younger. I thrive in those areas before. I love to just fight with my ex then.
And for me, it was this kind of uh adrenaline rush or it kind of give me this energy. But now that I’m in my 40s, I’m a mother, I am a wife, I feel like it’s not worth it anymore. I don’t want that kind of chaos. I live throughout those kind of life where there’s always crying drama queens. I have to deal with emotionally unregulated mature people in the body but you know mentally emotionally dysfunctional. I have seen those kind of people in my life where they are not at peace because as I said many people that are not healed are still chaotic. They are always want your attention, your provocation.
Work on your issues:
They want to trigger you. And if you really a person who wants peace and no conflict involved. This is why I rather want to read a book or just leave me alone, mind my business, live my life however I want to live my life instead of being dragged into the same chaotic drama. Because when you’re young, you don’t know any better. They actually you thought that this is normal.
But then the more and more you realize that actually being in constant drama, chaos, and conflict, you’re always in this fight or flight mode. It is going to jack up your nervous system. It doesn’t help you calm down. It makes you erratic. It makes you emotionally just all over the place.
And usually people that are not healed, they will create chaos and drama and conflict because they are not fully healed. They have no peace. Wicked people have no peace. So you understand that when you deal with this kind of individuals and you have to recreate yourself not based on the standard of people but based on your experience as I said sit down one day assess your life ask yourself these hard questions what I don’t tolerate now and what do I tolerate as I said before I was always saying yes I will be there.
I will be there no problem I’m going to show up I will be helping you with this and I was good at that. I was very good at accommodating people. I was trained to help people and then you become resentful. You become too tired to a point where you don’t understand why you’re going crazy because you are running around trying to be at everybody’s beck and call. You tried to be at service to everyone and then you put yourself in the back burner and you’re exhausted, tired, you don’t have enough sleep.
I used to be that person who loved to be admired as the reliable one.
She is the responsible one. We can always rely on her because she will show up and will deliver what we ask her. But that has a price. You will pay for the price. The price is that you will lack of sleep. You’re not going to have peace and you’re going to constantly be trying to please and impress people. And I think not.
So you either say yes politely if you want to go, but you can also decline and say no thank you. I appreciate your invitation, but I think I rather want to pass. Like this past few months, I had an invitation. They want me to attend this party and I said I couldn’t go because I had better things to do. I have things that to capture. I have to record a podcast. I have to do something with my life.
Before I used to get so uncomfortable saying no. I would get so cringe hearing myself saying no or declining an offer because as I said I was the person who was always there, always present. Every parties I would drive to see my family or fly to see my family while I would carry my toddler with me and I would just drive there for four hours and back. It was exhausting. And I thought to myself, this is actually not doing me any service. This is giving me too much stress. And wonder why I was dysregulated. I was always erratic. My nervous system was all over the place. I could not even function emotionally and mentally uh healthy. So this is why in order for you to be relevant in this 21st century, you learn how to navigate your own emotions and never compromise.
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