Transcript:
Hello everyone! Welcome back to another podcast. Welcome to Soulish Femme! If you are here for the first time, I would like to personally welcome you. My name is Glennavelle Manarang, to those of my returning hearers and subscribers, thank you for tuning in once again. Today’s topic is ways to get unstuck from your past. With no further ado, let’s discuss about your internal dialogue or the false beliefs that truly matters of what gets into your brain. The internal dialogue consists of the repetitive words that you say to yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what are the first words that come out? Usually for us, we are very critical to ourselves. We are the worst critic because we usually do not have a proper dialogue.
Especially when you have been brought up in a world of too many criticisms or perfectionist people. And therefore, when you grow older, you thought that your internal dialogue, if you don’t assess them properly, you thought it was yours to begin with. And that’s why when we read somewhere in
Psalm 103:1-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; 5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Know Your True Identity
Somehow, it is kind of hard for women. But if you are going to meditate on this word, you are going to understand that all your inmost being is praising God.
Not because of what you look like on the outside or what people have done you wrong. Or what they have said to you. But the fact of the idea that God is your Lord that he is the one who have actually created you beautifully and wonderfully made.
When you meditate on this word, and lately I have been repeatedly meditating on this word and playing in my mind and reading it out loud to register internally. Sometimes when we read a verse, we just rush through it, and we don’t really understand what the verse is saying.
We don’t take the time to contemplate or memorize the verse because maybe you don’t have enough time. But if you really understand that your inmost part and your soul is what God is after.
Your soul is composed of your intellect and your emotion.
Whatever is happening between your ears and whatever is in your mind and in your heart, it really makes a difference on how you see yourself. And this is why you need to really look at the false belief system, your internal dialogue.
I used to have internal dialogue are constantly negative because that’s our default. We are negative people because the world is negative. Especially when you have negative people around you, it’s just going to catapult even worse.
And of course to get unstuck from your past, I always talk about your identity, reconstructing your identity.
Whatever you think in your heart, that’s who you believe. If you think that you are never going to get better and you are your past that you’re defined by the mistakes that you have done or the things that was done to you by people you are going to perpetually believe the same cycle therefore breaking free from the cycle it takes a lot of recognition pattern awareness
Proverbs 23:7 it says, "For as he think it in his heart, so is he.
“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. I do not agree. The wounds remain in time. The mind protecting its sanity covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.” ― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
So, reconstructing our identity, he said that with time heals all wounds. And he said, he doesn’t agree. I mean, we could agree to disagree. I really think that it’s just a matter of time when your wound is going to heal up and it’s going to leave a scar tissue. So perhaps I beg to differ on what he’s saying because you cannot rush healing.
Healing is a journey. Healing is not something that is maybe you’re in your level five right now and some people are in level one. As I said, healing is not linear. It is never a straight path. It is something to do with ongoing daily process of understanding how you’re feeling and understanding yourself as a person. Especially when you have been through trauma in your life and you have been in my shoes sexually abuse, abortion, and then had narcissistic, abusive, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
And so it’s going to leave you a scar tissue over time. But that will going to constantly be there no matter what. You’re never going to forget. The body does not forget. Your mind will somehow trying to forget it, but it’s never going to go away. It’s always going to be a part of you.
However, you do have a choice to not ponder on the past. You do not constantly think of the bad things because if you constantly think of the bad things that was done to you or the things that had caused you too much pain, then you’re going to be apathetic. I think many people will never going to have the ability to rise up because they are constantly meditating replaying the same recorder of what happened to them.
Daily habits matter- contribute on your healing.
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” – Lao Tzu
Your thoughts, your words, our actions, they all integrated. They are all integral part of our growth. If you think that your thoughts do not matter, it matters because whatever you’re thinking, the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks according to Jesus. Whatever you have been contemplating and thinking about your heart as the man think it so is he.
So if you think and you believe in yourself that you are never going to be healed and when people usually when you have been labeled as depressed because that’s exactly what physicians would like for you to become is a guinea pig for the rest of your life. You have to be able to set yourself free from the shackles of the world definition or agenda or propaganda or what labeling perhaps is the right word I’m looking for because for many of us they want you to be medicated because otherwise they’ll be losing their job to begin with.
But if you want to be able to understand that healing, it doesn’t matter how many times of medication you’re going to take, it’s only scratching the surface. It’s not really healing your soul. It is only healing the physical attribute, which is medication. Maybe it’s going to help you a little bit, but eventually you become immune to it. Like anything else in life, the more and more you take it, eventually you’re going to probably reject your body.
And so, what’s next? This is why for many people if they not watching their thoughts and they thought that their thoughts are theirs and actually it’s not really their thoughts. It’s actually maybe you have been believing the same lie from the devil or from your parents from your mom from your dad and you have to understand that your words also matters because words are alive. It is active.
Words have power. The word became flesh and dwelt among us.
The world was founded by words by God. Let there be light. Therefore, there was light. When you say, “I am positive. I am happy. I am strong.” Remember what Jesus said. Let the weak say I am strong. Let the poor say I am rich. I am is a powerful word because it is talking about the present moment. Your subconscious mind does not really have an idea between the past and the future.
Your subconscious mind is present all the time. Whatever you believe about yourself that I am capable, I am loving, I am happy, I am worthy of love, I am redeemed, I am forgiven.
Glennavelle
These words will eventually going to penetrate in your soul and eventually you’re just going to believe it. I know it takes a lot of practice. It takes a lot of deliberate choices because our brain as I said by default it is negative. However, the more and more you are watchful of your thoughts and you think positive thoughts according to Philippians 4:8, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. And think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Because if you constantly think about the negative thoughts about your past. As I said, you’re just going to give up. This is why many people will have addictions or some kind of numbing because they are refusing to look at their pain. Most of us have many crutches whether alcohol, drugs, porn, shopaholic, you name it. We are all have addictions one way or another whether you like it or not.
Do not love the world
However, we are told that you must die to the passions of this world. Do not love the world, for the love of the world, the father’s love is not in you. The lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life are part of the world. Always lusting, always desiring for something. Desire is not bad per se, but when you’re desiring something that isn’t aligning with God’s purpose or his will for your life. Then it becomes a sin. For the wages of sin is death. Therefore, if you really want to understand that part of getting unstuck from your past is staying focused on your growth.
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”- Anais Nin
I couldn’t agree more. As I said before, we are going to have three different versions of us going to come up as we are trying to heal from the past before the abuse happened. during the abuse that occurred, your trauma, your triggers, she will come out eventually. This is why, excuse me, you have to understand that when you are trying to heal, there’s going to be different versions of you. We are multi-faceted people. If people will just make you believe that something’s odd with you, you’re crazy because you’re always changing, you have multiple personalities that is full of baloney, the lack of better word, for the lack of better word.
Because truly when you’re healing, you are trying to decipher whether or not you want to integrate the past and the ones that was wounded and of course your future self or your present self rather that you’re trying to make it believe that I am no longer my past. But you have to really be patient with yourself because sometimes the old version of you that was wounded by people of hurt you the most, she’s going to come out eventually and she wants to be erratic and she wants to have the drama and she wants to have this sympathy or empathy with people.
When I was not completely healed yet, I tend to create chaos and conflict and drama because I thought that if I would act out a certain way, people would love me or sympathize with me. However, when you are in that negative vibration or negative attitude, no one wants to be around with you. That’s just a sad truth. I know that for some people we would rather want to be understood by people and hug us, right? However, many people will never understand what you’re going through because they don’t know how to deal with people who have been traumatized.
And now that I am learning so much about myself and I see people are also being triggered and I can see the pattern and some people in my life that I see it now that they’re also in their journey of awakening. And I used to say to myself, remember the time that you were once in their shoes and now they’re easily triggered because I think God is trying to wake them up.
And I was very easily triggered too. And now that I am better off of understanding people and their behavior, I am have I have more sympathy for them. And I feel sad for these people sometimes or have a better understanding of why they act the way that they do or why do they say the things that they do because they are still are running from their pain.
Deal with your trauma
They are still a coward about it. They still are pretending that they don’t have any wounds that have been burying for throughout their adulthood.
And majority of people in your family, maybe friendships or coworker, people that are easily triggered, impatient
You cannot really label them that’s who they are because I really don’t think that people just wake up one day or walk up one day and become so angry at something for no apparent reason.
Every anger has causes. Every irritation has a root cause. That’s why I said when people are erratic or they are very hard or just very impulsive, there is a root cause of it.
They’re usually performative. They have not regulated their nervous system. They have not allowed themselves to stay calm and grounded because nobody told them how to and nobody showed them that there is a better way to deal with your emotions. And so that’s why you see so many people doing things that are bad because they’re not thinking properly and they’re not thinking before they speak or not thinking before they say something. I mean in this past few days my new year did not start very very well.
Let’s just put it that way. My New Year’s Day was already was chaotic by one of the family members that I had to live that I am leaving with. And it’s just one turmoil after one, drama after another as if I’m thinking to myself, I thought this year will be much better. But that’s just how life is.
As I said, there are people in our lives that are going to trigger us and push our buttons and make us really be out of our calmness. However, we do have a respond. We do have a choice not to stoop down to their level. We have a respond to either escalate or walk away or remain silent. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when you want to argue with people incessantly, but sometimes arguing with people who are not regulated, it is pointless.
Talking to someone who is erratic, it is useless because you’re just wasting your breath because at that point, they are unable to listen to what you’re saying. They don’t understand what is coming out of your mouth. Therefore, as I always like to say, every time you are going to be triggered or people are trying to push your button, might as well give yourself some space or time to think and you can come back when both of you are calmed down and discuss of what just happened.
Because in the heat of the moment, both of you, your amygdala is hijacked. And if you’re always trying to fight with a tooth and a nail or whatever the expression is, then there’s really no resolution. And that’s why people hurt each other, not just verbally, but sometimes it escalate to physical and it’s not good. And the last point that I would like to make is do not ponder on the past.
Aim something for your future by creating something beautiful.
Philippians 3:13-14 it says, “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own, but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.”
So Paul wrote this to the Philippians to the Philippi reminding them that for us to move forward in life, we must not ponder on the past. We must aim at something on what lies ahead and forgetting of what lies behind. I know as I said it’s easier said than done because your memory will never forget.
It’s something that is going to be part of you for the rest of your life. But you do have a choice not to ponder on it. You have a choice to shift your thoughts into something. That’s why I like hobbies. I like to create things. I like to keep myself productive and busy. Busy doesn’t mean that you are progressing.
Many people are busy but they’re actually not progressing and they’re not contributing something beautiful for their future. Uh doom scrolling watching tele-series or whatever reality TV show that you like to watch those are waste of my time. I think I have no patience for them.
I used to get so bothered by people just watching aimlessly and I have no patience because it’s the same drama. It’s the same dialogue. And at that point, I’m like, I might as well organize my closet or create a podcast or maybe write a book or learn a different language or maybe organize my pantry.
There are myriad of things that you can actually do productively that has some kind of solution.
Key notes
- Instead of just aimlessly doing something and you think you’re productive.
- Gossiping is another thing.
- Complaining is another thing that are not productive into your life.
Maybe reading a book. And so there are many ways that you can actually have some time that you can a lot for one day that is going to contribute to your future. I always like to say invest in your education. Education doesn’t mean that you have to go back to school. If that’s exactly what would you would like to do, then go for it.
But education is learning about different subjects that you’re interested in. There are many courses right now, including my course on Udemy. The link is down below in the show notes. You can actually learn how to cook, how to bake, perhaps if that’s something that floats your boat.
As I said, there’s no more excuses for us today not to learn about anything. Hillsdale College is one of them. It’s free. I have learned so much about philosophy. I’ve taken many of their courses that were free. I’ve also taken there’s a history that they talk about there. Western philosophy that I also talk that I also taken many months ago. It was last year. I can’t believe it.
And so there are many ways that you can recreate your life. And you can actually try to see what can help me move forward and onward, not to really go back to the past. Because if you’re just not going to do something with your life, you are going to quit. And winners don’t quit. And quitters do not win. And that is the reality of it. And I know for some people it is a lot of work, a lot of patience and the ability to never give up on yourself ever. I know it is a lot easier to quit on your dreams, to quit on your healing journey because let’s be honest, it is an arduous process.
Healing is hard and your brain sometimes when you are not guarding your heart, it wants to go back to the past . It wants to remind you of what had been done to you and if you are not alert or vigilant about your own thoughts.
That’s why we are told guard your heart with all diligence for out of it comes the issues of life many issues that we have are due to the fact that we have so many remnant of pain that reminds us of what happened to us in the past and I refuse I refuse to stay stagnant. I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I refuse to play the victim because those attributes are not admirable. They are not the ones that is going to make you better being a victimhood mindset and woe is me with self-pity party. These are the tactics of the devil himself. And he would love for you to stay stuck.
And he would love for you to feel sorry for yourself because he wants people to be stagnant and complacent and not get on with their life. And I have done a podcast many months ago talking about in the wilderness that many people get stuck in the wilderness. It is the analogy of healing because going to the promised land of overflowing with milk and honey, you have to fight Goliath.
You have to fight enemies left and right. You have to fight with any godly that is not really God of the world, but it’s Pharaoh himself and getting stuck with the old mindset. That’s why I like to say again and reiterate that what God did for the Israelites is to take them to the wilderness because God was trying to teach them about the old patterns, their old behavior, the way that they were thinking because they were they were in bondage for 400 years in the Egyptian.
And so their mindset were crooked. Their mindset was about slave slavery. They were not really ready to get into the promised land where they had to be responsible of what God has in store for them. In the same way with us when we want to go forward in life, especially when we want to be healed, we have to be ready of what God has in store for us. If you are not faithful in the small things, God cannot promote you.
Because if you’re going to be promoted right now and you’re not completely healed and you’re not completely ready mind in the mindset way, you’re just going to ruin whatever God had planned for your life. And that’s why you have to be able to understand that if God has not answered your prayer yet, it’s probably because you are not ready and God knows your heart. And God wants to equip us first of all.
He wants to make sure that we are mentally, physically, emotionally prepared for the battle ahead or the challenges that you will be facing again. But at least going back when I realized that the problems that I have now is nothing compared to the things that I’ve been through and that will make you a lot wiser and more resilient when you think about it.
So do not doubt yourself and do not give up on your journey of healing because all things are possible with God. If you believe that Jesus is the greatest physician and he is always going to be there for you, remember that Jesus said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you. I will be with you wherever you go. Be courageous and be strong in the Lord because that’s the command. It is not a suggestion. It is a command that we must live boldly.
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