Episode #26 – Living An Audacious Life

Transcript:

Hi everyone, welcome back to another podcast. Welcome to Soulish Femme, real talk with Glennavelle Manarang and today’s topic is living an audacious life. Audacious living takes a lot of effort and really knowing what you want in life. You cannot be audacious without knowing what you really desire in life. We all want something out of life which is maybe have a bigger house, a nicer car, better job opportunities or career or have more money. It all depends on what would you like to achieve in this life. Each one of us of course have the desire to become audacious which is being bold and follow our dreams but at the same time we cannot really allow the world or some people dictate to us of what it is that we want to do in our lives. Each one has its own desire.

So ask yourself the question what is the desire of your heart?

Well it depends on what it is that you want to achieve in this life. You don’t need permission to live the life that you want. For many of us, we grow up not really having a clear of what it is that we want in life. We do not have a clear vision. We don’t have the clear goals and that’s why we just copy everybody’s life and it is not set on stone of how we live our life. For many of us too, we live in a family that has already designed our life for us. As I said, if your family wants you to become a nurse because everybody in the family is a nurse. Therefore you must follow the same path. On the contrary, if it’s not something that you desire, if it’s not something that’s coming out of your heart, and it’s it is not something that you love to do, then why must you follow a certain rule of thumb for everybody? It doesn’t have to be one size-fits-all. This is your life.

You only have one life to live. You cannot afford other people to dictate on how you should live your life. You cannot afford to have other people telling you of what kind of careers or what kind of dreams you should achieve because this is yours to begin with. You also have to let them become aware that if you want to follow something you cannot compromise. For instance, for many years, I wanted to be a podcaster, a YouTuber, write a book, and some of people would question me, why do you want to do this? Why can’t you just be like everybody else? Get a job from 9 to 5 and be an employee. There is nothing wrong of being employed if you are in that space.

But I realized that I have been living employee. I’ve been an employee for so many years since I was 16. My first job was at Kmart and so I have lived all my life for many years for other people and I am in the season of my life where I want to be my own boss. I want to be able to have my own company. That’s why I want to start my own YouTube channel, a podcaster, a blogger, and wrote a book in 2019 because that’s the only way for me to have freedom. Yes, money comes and money is also part of having financial freedom. But at the same time, it’s also having the ability to spend so much time with my son and to raise my son without me going back and forth of dropping him and picking him up. And maybe it’s so much about because I never really had that kind of relationship with my mother because she was too busy working for other people. And so she didn’t have really time to be at home with her kids when she had the chance to.

And so that’s why when you want to live an audacious life, you cannot allow the world to dictate to you what kind of life that you desire. Also you have to be able to be okay when people are going to oppose of what you want and they question you whether or not are you doing the right thing or who are you trying to prove what are you trying to prove here the only person that you owe an apology or an explanation is yourself. You do not owe anybody’s explanation or anyone’s explanation. You do not supposed to tell people that this is what I’m doing and I have to tell you and because I want validation from you. If you are so consumed with people’s approval and opinions, then you are missing the point.

As I said, this is your life and you don’t need to ask people’s opinion and validation and ask them maybe am I on the right path? Am I on the right, you know, journey? Am I doing the right thing? Because you cannot really, you cannot do that unless you know who you are. You have to be sure that this is exactly the kind of life that you want. You have to truly stop for a second one day and really jot down in a piece of a notebook or a paper and ask yourself the question what is my ideal life?

People did not have anything in life without preparation. They must first of all have the vision. They must have a clear vision of what it is that they want to achieve in their life and then they will have the implementation later on. Because without implementation you’re just going to wishing for a life that you don’t really know why you want to do it. You have to have a bigger picture. Is it only for the money? Is it only for the fame? Is it really just because you’re bored? For me, as I said, success is subjective. People might define success differently than yours. My success doesn’t mean I have to have a bigger house. My success definition doesn’t mean I have to live in the nicest neighborhood. Success for me is able to do what I have promised myself to do. You are successful when you have promised yourself and you show up to yourself day in and day out and you said to yourself that we’re going to do this and you’re consistently showing up for yourself. That is success for me.

You don’t have to make millions of dollars although that comes in later on. That is a icing on the cake. But I do not like how these people have this t-shirt on which I saw one of this t-shirt. One was that like few days ago that says the best revenge is success which is for me revenge and success. They do not come in the same term. When you have that kind of mentality that in order for me to be successful so that I can avenge myself or prove people that I am successful so that they can treat me differently or respectfully. It’s actually sending the wrong message. Why must you tell yourself that I have to be successful to prove them wrong that I am really that person that they have messed up with and I’m going to prove them that I’m actually better than themselves. That is coming from a place of arrogance for me. It is not coming a place of love and genuine. And if you’re going to say to yourself, in order for me to be successful because I want to prove people wrong and you know I’m going to show them that I have it all figured out, which is you’re actually still doing what I just said. You’re asking people’s validation.

If you are only becoming successful because you want to prove people wrong is because you are still have that kind of fear that people are actually thinking that you’re not going to make it. You are still looking and hunger for people’s validation. You want to be successful because you want to be successful for your family. Because you want to have a better future for yourself and for your children not for any other reason. Not because you want to prove your family wrong or you want to prove the world that you have what it takes to be successful. Because if I said if you’re going to have this constant asking yourself why do I want to be successful? It’s because of you know people told me to be successful. Because it is the right thing to do because you know it’s the way for me to prove my family wrong. Then you are actually still broken and wounded. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. And even if you are not successful by making lots of money because as I said it is not objective when you become successful for me I can tell you I want to be financially savvy.

I want to be able to save more than I spend. I want to be able to invest more than I you know splurge something on the things that are not necessary. That for me is success. when I am not you know struggling financially when I’m not in debt and you know waking up at night and thinking how can we afford to live in this tumultuous world that everything is going so pricey now everything is going up and the economy crisis is really uncertain. There’s so many uncertainty in the world today so when you are constantly thinking about money you are not successful. Because you’re always stressing out of how you can make ends meet how can you feed your family, how can you pay your bills? How can you live and have vacation at the same time? That is not success. When you say success, money is also part of it.

Let’s just be honest. Money is going to be the center point, right? If you would think, people usually say, I want to be successful and live an audacious life. You cannot be audacious and live a successful life without money. Because money is something that we exchange of value. I give you a product, you give me money. I give you services then I you give me money. So it is an exchange of value. Money is a tool that we need in this world in order for this world to work and to sustain us to get something that we want. However, if that is all that you’re focused on is money, then there’s something’s wrong with your life. If all you do is just the first thing in the morning is you just focus on money, money, money, money, and then you’re missing the whole point.

Do you really think that people that are making too much money are happier than you? Do you think they are more peaceful than you are when they say money buys happiness? Perhaps some people. But how much money do you need in the bank for you to be happy? Because as I said to live an audacious life, it doesn’t mean that you have to have tons of money. Is learning how to be content of what you have? Is learning to be grateful of the things that you have right now. That’s why the Bible is clear. With food and clothing, with these we must be content. It doesn’t mean that you’re not going to work towards your goal. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to work towards your vision and your dreams but simultaneously working towards their but not necessarily trying to copy everybody else. You have to have your own set of rules that you need to follow.

And the world rewards those who are bold enough to follow their dreams.

Have you seen people that are bold enough to follow their dreams? artists, musicians, athletes, they follow their dreams and they are rewarded for it and you be they become successful and known into the world. Let’s just take Whitney Houston and Celine Dion and the greatest singers of all time, Mariah Carey. These were the greatest singers, but they were actually able to make a name of themselves because they did not compete with each other too. They were bold enough to say okay I cannot sing because Celine Dion sings differently and Mariah Carey sings differently therefore I cannot compete with them. That’s why the world will will reward you. If you are bold enough and audacious enough to put yourself out there. If you are not willing to be audacious then what you’re going to do is going to sit back and just not do anything and be a couch potato and just be okay with mediocrity. There’s nothing wrong with that.

And if you are not audacious enough and to be bold enough to live a life that you want, then getting a job 9 to 5 and it’s if you’re happy with that kind of life, why not? And if you just want to be your own, if you want to be employed for the rest of your life, then there’s nothing wrong with that.

But for the rest of us who want to live an audacious life, a life that is more exciting and more meaningful. Then you have to be audacious enough and be bold and be willing to be okay of being seen or heard in the world. Because sometimes I had to struggle with this impostor syndrome. When I started my YouTube channel, I asked myself what am I doing? Who do you think I am for doing this? Putting myself out there making a fool of myself because that’s exactly what we think and we tell ourselves when we put out our work into the world. We’re going to start questioning why should I do this? What people are going to think about me? What what are they going to think about me for doing this act of putting myself out there? Who do you think I am?

So this is going to be a lot of resistance when you start doing things that you’re not used to because our culture and the world have not yet are fully grasp the idea that in order for you to be successful and the audacious is that you have you have to be willing to make a fool out of yourself. You have to be willing to put yourself out there. You have to be willing to be seen and to be criticized by the world. And some people are going to like you and some people are not going to like you. Some people may think you are just fooling yourself or you’re full of it. And it’s okay because it’s part of your growth when you live an audacious life. It’s okay that people are going to have, you know, many opinions about you even if they don’t like you or they don’t know you personally. But you’re just going to be surprised that that’s just how people some people are going to congratulate you. Some people are going to applaud you and celebrate your milestone. And some people are not. You’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea.

As I always say, you’re not everybody’s, you know, everybody is not going to be always on your side cheering you on and congratulating you. Some are going to tear you apart and some are going to question your move. And if you want to live an audacious life, you cannot afford to be bogged down by people who have not nothing done in their life. You cannot expect people to question you when they have nothing to prove for themselves. If you are always waiting for people to give you a ghost signal of this is the right thing, you must do this now, then you are not really fully sure of what you want to do with your life.

Secondly, you cannot listen to people’s advice unless they have something to prove. If people give you an advice and they have nothing to prove, they haven’t taken the risk and they question you, who do you think you are for writing a book? And they have not written a book, don’t listen. shut it down. You know, just tune out those noises. If people said, “Who do you think you are for starting a channel, a YouTube channel, and putting yourself out there and they haven’t done the work and they haven’t taken a risk, as I said, drown out those noises.” These are just people’s projection of their own insecurity. People who usually are insecure because they don’t want you to shine or outshine them. That’s why they want to diminish your light.

And for so many people, it takes a long time for them to accept the fact that if this person really is secure, I don’t have time to go around and questioning of what other people are doing. I’m just going to be happy for them. Happy people are going to celebrate other people’s milestone. They’re not here to criticize or question or to become insecure of what you’re doing. Insecure people, however, have the time and all the day to think to themselves, I don’t want them to outshine me. I don’t want them to think that they’re better than me. So, what do they do? They will shut you down. They will question what you’re doing. Especially when it’s unconventional, especially when it’s not something that they’re not used of seeing.

Because, as I said, we live in a family that we are conditioned to not change the status quo. Do not shake the status quo. Just stay where you’re at. If the moment you’re going to go out of the line, if the moment you’re the only one in the family that starts a business, then something’s wrong with you. Because we have been conditioned in a society that the moment you say I don’t want to be a nurse. I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t want to be a doctor like everybody else in my family. I don’t want to be a lawyer. And you started to become someone that they didn’t expect to become. Like you want to be an entrepreneur. You want to be a podcaster or a comedian. For some odd reason, they will label you as crazy or something is wrong with you. Why can’t you just be like everybody else?

But that is the question that you cannot live an audacious life unless you’re willing enough to put yourself out there and take the risk and you have to have that kind of uh ability to say it’s okay whether people are going to support me or not. You have to really be your own cheerleader. You have to really uh applaud yourself and really think to yourself that even if people are not going to come on on my side and they’re not going to join me when I am going to become successful that is okay. Not everybody is supposed to go with you on your journey to the top. As I remembered somebody says going to the top is very lonely sometimes. Some sometimes you have so many lonely nights and thinking to yourself, I am so alone. People don’t understand what I’m doing. When I started my YouTube channel, of course, your family is start going to question like, what do you think you’re doing? It is very unconventional because we’re so used to going to school. We have been indoctrinated in a world where you have to go to school.

After school, you go to get your college and your college degree and then you have to have a job and then after getting a job 9 to5 and then you must retire and then that’s it. And then that’s how you live your life. It has been set on a stone for both for many of us that this is how we should live your life. But for me, if you cannot be bold enough to live the way that you want to live, you are going to miss out the boat. Because I really think that life is supposed to be for living, not just for existing. And many people are only existing. They’re only living to exist. They’re not really living a life depending on how they want to live their life. Most of them are living based on the cultural dictates and the indoctrination of the system, the world system which is the matrix. And that tells us that you cannot go outside or call her outside the line because if the moment you do then something is truly wrong with you.

As I said, if you are not bold enough, the world cannot reward you. those who are bold enough to follow their dreams and goals like the athletes Michael Jordan and LeBron James, we wouldn’t have them if they were not bold enough to actually follow their dreams. What is the likelihood of LeBron James to become an athlete when he was from Acron, Ohio, out of nowhere, out of a small town somewhere in Ohio, it is so unlikely for him to be discovered. But because he was not willing to give up on his dreams. He was audacious enough to follow his dreams and to go above the you know he was he came from not so uh privileged community if you think about it but he was not going to just become silent or stay stagnant or compromise of his dreams and goals and he go above it and now that’s why we have greater you know he has been one of the best players in the world. I’m not saying that I am rooting for LeBron just because my husband loves him.

But because I am just making a point that if you really want to be celebrated and known to this world, you have to be bold enough and to be courageous enough to put yourself out there and to fight for your dreams and to really follow your dreams no matter what it takes and no matter what people might tell you not to do it because you are just going to miss out on the opportunity that actually God has given you that dream. It’s not people that has given you that dream. The reason why you have this knowing and you have this constantly barking in your conscience to follow this dream is because it is God himself has put you that dream. It is God himself has put you the desire to live the kind of life that you must live. It is not people who has given you this abilities. It is not people who has given you the talents.

And if you’re going to just not follow the dreams and the desire that your heart wants, then you’re robbing yourself off. And you don’t want to live in regret. And you are going to look back on your life when you’re in your 80s and you’re going to say to yourself, I wish I could have I would have I should have followed my dreams and I should have never listened to the naysayers. I should have not listened to the people who have criticized my dream. It’s too late because now you’re too old and you have no more energy to follow your dreams because you have listened to the wrong voices. If you think that living an audacious life is silencing your own voice and listening to the wrong voices, you’re going to miss out on the bigger picture and you are going to live in regret. And regret is a high price to be paid because regret comes in later on in life when you have no more energy. You have no more time because you’re almost dying and you’re too old and so you know, it’s like I have no more energy to go outside or I’m all I want to do is just sit around and do nothing.

It’s better now that you’re young to live your life and be excited in life and to do something different than what you used to instead of just sitting around and waiting for an opportunity to knock at your door because no one is going to come knocking at your door. You have to create your own life and really go after it. You must be able to willing to put in the work. It takes discipline, determination, consistency, and it takes a lot of really loving what you do and apologetically. You cannot afford to allow people to really tell you that what you’re doing is useless or what you’re doing is really meaningless. If you allow the voices to dictate your future, then you’re just going to constantly trying so hard to please other people. That’s why so many people are afraid of starting because they’re afraid of what people think of them, especially their family members, their friends. If I’m going to do this, what do you think are my family going to say about me?

Do you think, you know, I don’t care what they say. Let them say whatever they want to say. Let them talk about you. Let them gossip about what you’re doing. Because at the end of the day, it is your life. It is your own life to live. And if people is not going to accept what you’re doing, then perhaps they are not meant to go with you when you’re supposed to go. Some people unfortunately are not supposed to go with you in the future. They’re not supposed to you’re not supposed to take everybody with you because some people are going to drag you back down to where you come from. It is so hard to go on a scale of where you want to go uphill and some people just want to stay stagnant and you cannot really take everything everyone with you because they’re going to pull you back down and they want to be your level like a crab mentality. You know what a crab mentality is? is that people wants to drag you back down on the same level as them and they want you to just stay where you’re at because if you decided to go above higher than them then they are become threatened by that and they would always start to say that she doesn’t deserve it. Why would she even want to be somebody that you’re not supposed to be that way?

There’s jealousy of course because it’s part of growth. You are going to be surprised that the more and more you become successful in this life there’s going to be people who is going to be jealous of you. there’s people going to question what you’re doing and that is okay because as I said if you are not willing to to drown out those noises you cannot live an audacious life you have to sometimes focus on your dreams do not allow people to drown out the things that you’re doing or to even question for a second of what you’re doing whether it’s good or not you cannot please everybody you cannot make everybody happy you cannot be everybody’s cup of tea I said because if you have that mentality then you’re going to go nowhere. If your job is to focus on your life and to really live the life that you want then you become invincible. You become unforgettable and people are unforgettable.

They actually become legends that even after they’re dead they are still celebrated and remembered because they were audacious enough to follow the dreams and goals. But if you are always constantly waiting for an approval and waiting for people’s go signal and you know asking for people’s validation then you are just going to live a mediocre life and a life that is boring and mundane and you’re going to say to yourself I wish I would have listened to my own self and we cannot afford to live in that kind of life because life is too short as I always say you only have one life to live there is no redo you cannot redo another life this is it once you’re gone in this life. That’s it. You cannot do a makeover. You’re done. You’re gone. And you don’t really know how much time you have left in this life.

So, you might as well live the best that you can. Follow your dreams. Live audaciously. Whatever dreams that you want to achieve in this life. Be bold and be brave and be courageous and always keep the faith because without faith you cannot do actions and faith without action is dead. So, if you want to live an audacious life, you have to have faith in yourself mostly. You got to believe in yourself that you got this. That you have to believe in yourself that if people can do it, why can’t you? If some people were able to follow their dreams and finish what they have started, then why can’t you do it? What’s the difference between you and them? You have a brain. They have a brain. And you also have the abilities and the talents that God has given you. Stop comparing yourself to anybody else. Listen to what you have and use that for the well for the betterment of your future. Not by always comparing yourself.

Well, you know, she’s better singer than I am. I’m a she’s a better talker than I am and I’m not. Well, look at what you have. Use of something that you have. If God has given you the ability to maybe, I don’t know, cook a better meal, maybe you should use that. Or you’re a player of a good poker player. I’m not sure. I cannot really think of it. Or good in basketball. This is why for so many people who live their life and they’re missing out the bigger picture because they’re waiting and waiting waiting until somebody is going to tell them, you know, it’s time for you to do something with your life. As I said, you can wait until the world is going to end. No one is going to give you the ghost signal unless you’re willing enough to follow the dreams that you want. And that is all that I would like for you to think about.

Living audaciously, it takes a lot of self-determination. You must love what you do. Even if some of people may think it is ridiculous and it is absurd to follow your dreams, but it’s okay because it is yours anyway. It is the life that you have and that is all that you can control. You cannot control people’s opinion. You cannot control what they tell you of how they think of what you should do, but you have the full autonomy of how you should live your life. So, I hope that you have been encouraged by this message. I hope to see you on my next podcast. Be bold, be brave, and be courageous. I’ll see you soon.