Episode #52 – Ways To Making A Better Version of Yourself

Transcript

Hi everyone, welcome back to another podcast. Welcome to Soulish Femme. My name is Glennavelle Manarang. If you’re here for the first time, I would like to welcome you. In today’s topic is about ways to make a better version of yourself. I usually say make a better version of yourself. What does it exactly mean? We just throw things around, a word and then we don’t really want to emphasize or elaborate on what does it mean to becoming better version of yourself?

Ways In Becoming A Better You

So technically it’s you but making yourself a 2.0. You don’t look the same as you used to perhaps physically, mentally and how you manage your emotion. Better is not perfect, but it is becoming a newer version of you that is way better than it used to. The version that refuses to being stuck. I can talk so much about my past. Woe is me. My life is terrible. What happened to me was unfair. But you don’t have to stay there. So what are the ways you can do to make a better version of yourself? I cannot give you a linear formula because this is something you must figure out on your own. But based on my own experience and perhaps hopefully you can learn from my advice, these were some of the ways I am doing to make myself a better version of myself.

1. Believe in Yourself

In a way we can start with our souls which in ties with that ties in with believing in yourself that healing is possible that time is in the essence. Believe that whatever you’re hoping for and striving in life it is possible to have it. So have faith or believe in your own healing journey that in time you’re going to get better. Faith is the substance of things that you hope for. The evidence of things you have not yet seen. Just because you have not seen any result, it doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen or your life is meaningless. You cannot expect other people to believe in you if you cannot even believe in your own self. In addition to believing in yourself, maybe you must consider to never neglect the small and incremental daily habits that will help you propel to becoming the newer version of yourself. So if you want to become a newer version of yourself, plan a habit daily that you can incorporate. For instance, if you see yourself as a healthy person, maybe you should take the time to ask, “What does she do on a daily basis? What does a fit and a healthy person look like? What does she eat? Does she spend countless aimless hours sitting in her couch or does she walk or does she move her body?” You get my point.

2. Time Management

Time management is the key in maximizing your time. Time, as I like to remind you, is a commodity. Once it is gone, you cannot take it back. Once you squander your time, you cannot afford to really waste it for no apparent reason. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t rest. I am naturally not into this hustle culture. However, when there is a time to play, there’s also a time to work and there’s a time to rest. You cannot renew time and once you have it and you use it, it is venito. It is gone. So the question is how are you spending your time on a daily basis? Do you have a daily or a weekly routine that you incorporate? Yes, it might seem mundane and challenging to stick to a routine, but sticking to it gives you a clear idea on how you spend your day. Having routines or daily habits give you direction on how you strategically use your time. Maybe pencil in reading for 30 minutes, moving for another 30 minutes, cleaning for another 30 minutes.

Benefits: You’ll be surprised how productive you truly are at the end of the day. You will feel much better about yourself at the end of your day because you are disciplined in the small actions and you did not waste it on some random actions that will not contribute to your future that you’re still working on. Granted, I will allow myself to scroll. I don’t have a social media. I only have YouTube. And I usually try to use my time to educate myself more than just binge watching on something that I do not learned anything. I’m very intentional when it comes to watching certain videos on YouTube. I’m also strategic because I believe that if you’re going to use your time, might as well something educational and something that can stimulate your brain.

3. Recreate Your Life

Of course, another thing that you must also include to make yourself a better version is do not ponder on your past. Of course, there’s a time to grieve, cry about it, and bid it farewell. However, there’s a time and an expiration date of when you must dust off your feet and keep on moving forward. Of course, it did not take me thus far to grieve. There’s always going to be good days and bad days. You’re going to experience highs and lows in life because that’s just part of it. And what does this look like? Just decide to start. Choose to recreate a life that you want. Pursue something that is meaningful. Maybe you could travel to a different place. Educate yourself by learning online. I love learning online, especially when it comes to philosophy, psychology, politics. There are myriad of lessons you can learn online. I am learning from Hillsdale. Of course, this is none sponsored. This is a free tool that you can use in your own spare time.

Ways to recreate: Read a book, create and do not feel sorry for yourself because I think when you are not doing anything productive, you are going to just ponder on your past, ruminate about the past. So create something, maybe pick up a hobby that you have not yet possibly thought about before.

Doing a inner work is hard but it is necessary but it should not be a prison for you. As soon as this dust settles in, you have to accept your past and make sure to keep your spirit alive.

It could be in small little things such as lighting a candle, bringing plants in or buying yourself a flower flowers even if there is no special occasion. Find a cozy place in your home and read a few pages of your favorite book. Journal, listen to music, cry and laugh, watch funny movies and talk for hours with someone you love or to yourself or in the mirror because that’s exactly your greatest best friend is yourself. And do not be stressed out or pressured by some people saying, “Why do you feel still low?” Yes, you’re going to have lows and you’re going to have happiness someday or you’re not motivated because you are still trying to figure things out. I am sick and tired of people who just try to label you that there something’s wrong with you because you’re sad or depressed or they’re just going to medicate you. Look around you in this world today. Of course, you’re going to feel sad and you’re going to be apprehensive and worried about the future because of the bad news that we watch.

Make sure that when you want to make a better version of yourself, you must be intentional, selective, and very aware of what you’re learning and watching online because we do absorbed everything that we watch and we listen to. We as a human being, we are malleable.
Glennavelle

That’s why another thing is that if you want to make yourself a better version, make sure that you’re very intentional on what you watch and what you allow. Bad news, toxic negativity, online bashing other people, gossip, these are some kinds of drainage or it’s going to drain your energy. Make sure that when you want to make a better version of yourself, you must be intentional, selective, and very aware of what you’re learning and watching online because we do absorbed everything that we watch and we listen to. We as a human being, we are malleable. Our brain is adaptable. If you’re not investing in yourself, in educating yourself, although knowledge is power, I am not saying that you should be ignorant of what’s going on in the world. I’m not saying that you should not be aware or maybe trying to educate yourself of the current events.

A journey commenced, starting cheerfully under a clear sky, and a tranquil sea.

So it’s important as a woman that if you really want to take yourself per you know seriously and if you want to make a better version of yourself we cannot really discredit your image your self-image and how you see yourself in the mirror what you look like in the mirror this is not about vanity as I said you don’t have to own so many clothes all you have to do is choose and know exactly the kind of clothing that fits well on your body type, the colors that you usually love to wear that can complement your skin tone. This is about knowing your specific maybe version of yourself that you love to wear.

Are you more bohemian look? Do you like this kind of preppy look? Do you like classy, elegant, timeless look? You can change around. It doesn’t really have to be a specific thing that is trendy. It has something to do with your personality and also trying so hard to play around with your style because as I said in this channel, you don’t have to really copy everyone what is trendy right now. I am not a very trendy girl. Although there are certain trends that remain classy even to this day, but you cannot just invest on things that is here today and gone tomorrow.

You have to be very selective and make sure if you really want to make a better version of yourself is that you also take care of yourself. Self-care is also taking care of your mind and your heart, getting through the issues, the root causes of your trauma. I will not going to forget about speaking to it time and time again. I will have to repeat myself over and over again to really embed this into your psyche.

However, there must be a time and a place to do that limitation or perhaps give yourself a few minutes to really have an idea of what’s happening around you. But at the end of the day, just move on and take what’s good and toss what isn’t good. But how you see yourself play an integral role in your in how you feel. So another thing is be careful on how you see yourself and how you judge yourself. What you wear matter. Not only that you care about the branded names or the expensive clothes, but at least put a little bit of effort by swapping by swapping pajamas into a dress or white t-shirt and a cute jeans. This is all it takes.

Maybe playing around with your makeup and how you do your hair. I am really a person that when I wear something frumpy or I do not change my outfit from a sleepwear into something that I’m ready for a day, I feel sluggish. I am not really motivated. I am probably going to just go back to bed. Even if you are the most beautiful woman in the room, size two, size five, you go to the gym, but if you’re not dealing with your soul, if you still have traumas, if you still have un unsettled wounds that you have not yet delved, I mean delve into or dealt with. You are just a broken woman.

You have seen this many times before that this woman is boisterous, loud, obnoxious, she is exuding this masculinity. I used to be that kind of a woman. I did not realize then that I was acting that way because of my wounded femininity. I was very masculine because I had to I had to survive. I had to watch after myself. I had to take care of myself when I was in my early 20s and going towards in my 30s. I was this boss babe going to school and going to work and I have to pay the bills. I had to really make sure that my finances were in order. And so it kind of have this dichotomy that sometimes I will show up like a man if I have to. And then you have to be feminine, especially when you’re married because you’re going to clash with your husband when you’re going to be this all too masculine. We do have both sides.

I really think that as a human being, we have the feminine side and the masculine side. And we have to really balance them out. It has to be this ying and yang. There’s going to be this homeostasis that we have to be in the equilibrium that we have to meet and incorporate the two because if you’re functioning in too much masculinity as I said that comes on as very aggressive. You will come on as very volatile and I know myself that if something triggers me a person usually disrespect me you’re going to see a side of me that is very masculine.

I am not going to back down with confrontation, especially when I’m in the right and you’re in the wrong. I’m going to make sure to put you on your space or to put you and call you out for your nonsense. I’m a person who doesn’t really like nonsense or something that will make me be disrespected. And so, you have to really play with the feminine side. And I think dressing up in a way that is feminine, this can help you also tap into your femininity and it makes you be aware that you are not a man and you are a woman that you must embrace your softness too and really bring into this your tone of voice. It’s something to do with your silence. I really believe that when you are okay being quiet for the longest time, it will calm your nerves down.

Do not be afraid that if you want to make a better version of yourself, there’s a time to speak and there’s a time to be silent. Not everything has to be going to be your that needs your attention or your effort or your time. You got to choose your battle according to what they say, which is very true. Not every battle is worth fighting for because if you’re just going to keep on fighting, that’s what I said. This is where your triggers come in. Your trigger is usually an indicator that you have not yet healed in that certain area. If something triggers you, it’s because you are not completely healed yet.

And that is a sign of your body signaling to you or your brain saying to you that you are still triggered because you have not completely healed. I’m not saying that when people disrespect you or crosses your boundary that you should just be a doormat or not say yourself, but this is something to do with other people’s behavior. Even if sometimes they will trigger you and they do it in purpose, it’s actually better to just, you know, do not stoop down to their level and ignore them. But if they keep on doing it, of course, you have to address the issue.

So aside from this the note that you have to really make sure that your nervous system is trying to calm down by being silent, learning to meditate perhaps and sitting for 20 to 30 minutes and listening to soothing music. Anything to do with calming your nerves down, maybe trying to tell yourself that I love you and I believe in you. Affirmations, of course, is another thing that I’ve been doing. self-affirmation. These are the words that you tell yourself because your words are impactful. Remember, remember that our words are seeds. If whatever you tell yourself is going to believe it subconsciously, according to Proverbs, your words have a power to bless or curse, it has a power to give life or death.

So even if you say something to yourself subconsciously that you’re stupid, you’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re dumb, you’re going to eventually going to take all of that and you’re going to internalize those words. You thought that it’s not going to impact on you eventually and wonder why you feel sorry about yourself. You feel awful. You you’re not the most confident person because you keep on telling yourself over and over again.

Another thing that you need to make a better version of yourself is that learning something about your weaknesses. I am not just going to say that you have to focus on your positive attributes and of course you have to really magnify the things that are good. However, you cannot also neglect the things that you are not good at because you’re just going to be in denial. So you also have to assess your weaknesses. Maybe you have a weakness like mine in communication skills which most of us do. Communicating style. How do you communicate? Do you communicate aggressively? Do you talk more than you listen? I mean are you perfectionist like I am?

I mean, these are not per se bad, but they can be also attributed to your downfall if you’re too perfectionist because you’re going to end up having this analysis paralysis of trying something new because you’re going to keep on asking yourself, am I doing it right? Should I do it? And you’re going to just get stuck in that loop. So make sure to just make it better to do it than keep on saying I’m going to do it later. Procrastination of course is another problem that we have to face and make a better version of yourself is learn to make a decisive decisions especially when it’s necessary.

Procrastination is putting off things that you have probably has been thinking about it for many many times. Now I’m not saying that you must be impulsive. There’s a difference between thinking quickly on your feet and being decisive about sub a subject or a decision. However, when it comes to other things like buying a house or buying a car or marrying someone, that is it takes a long time for you to decide that is worth taking your time. I’m saying being impulsive is when you’re emotionally heightened, when you’re upset and you’re sad or you’re too happy, you should not make a decisions when it comes to that.

But when you want to make a better version of yourself, you have to really decide of what to do with your life or what kind of life you want to do. What are the things that you would like to achieve in this world? What the places that you want to go? Maybe hobbies that you want to pick up after. So these are trying to understand that if you have a tendency which is your weakness. Mine is procrastinator. Sometimes I’m I’m a I’m a very procrastination because I like to overly analyze things if what are the probability of my success or my failure and my analytical brain usually gets me in trouble because I like to really assess whether I’m going to be successful if I’m going to go through this endeavor. I usually like to evaluate if my time and effort is even doable or is it even matter.

So these are the things that you really have to think about your weaknesses. Mine is perfectionism, procrastinating sometimes and as I said what did I mention earlier? It’s something to do with my communication skills that I I tend to keep things intact or I’m very secretive. I am not really good at overly explaining myself or expressing myself until to a point where I’m going to explode and it doesn’t really come on very healthily. So these are just some ideas that I think are only scratching the surface of making yourself a better version of yourself. So I talk about your soul, your spirit, and of course your relationship with God.

When it comes to your spirit, I always like to say vertically align with the one who created you and horizontally align with yourself and with other people. You cannot possibly love other people without loving your maker. I don’t care what you say, whether you agree with me or not. You cannot possibly love a person that you see if you don’t know exactly what it feels like to have love from the God who created you. You have no ability to fully understand how much you can love a person. Even though they’re unlovable, even though they are the most unkind, they keep on doing the same thing.

They’re suspecting you without the love of God because it is the spirit of the Holy Spirit that can enable you to love someone. I don’t think when Jesus said love your enemies and pray for them. I don’t think he’s able maybe he did not finish the sentence of saying maybe he didn’t really emphasize by saying however you cannot really love someone unless you love me by abiding in him. This is where when Jesus said you must abide in the vine because apart from him you cannot do anything. So in the same way we cannot really love other people especially the ones that we can’t stand especially the ones who have betrayed us who have used us abused us and took advantage of us.

How can you possibly forgive and love those people when they keep on hurting you time and time again? It is really something that is transcendent kind of love. It is the love that a divine that only God can truly gave us the ability to love the people around us. It is impossible to love other people without the spirit of God because God said he is God of love. And so if you don’t have a good relationship with the one who created you, I’m sorry to say, but you cannot possibly forgive those who have hurt you because most likely you’re going to retaliate. The world will retaliate. The people usually who have been hurt by other people, they will either avenge themselves, they will retaliate, they will take matters into their own hands.

However, to those of us who have really understood what love is by the spirit of God, this is something that we Christians are set apart by saying, “Love your enemies and do good to those who have hurt you and pray for them to those who persecute you and bless them instead of hurting them.” This doesn’t come with a a natural human way. This is a supernatural being that can actually have this ability to love those enemies that we have.

Our enemy sometimes, as I said, they are the ones that live with us. These are the family members that we think that they’re good for us even though we know that deep inside our heart they don’t usually wants the best for us or they’re jealous or envious of us. When you see the Bible, people who usually are hurting each other are amongst the family in your family members. That’s why Jesus said your enemy are your, you know, mother versus daughters and father versus sons and mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law because there’s going to be a divide because if you don’t belong to the family of God, of course, there’s going to be a division.

When you don’t have a spirit of God and you live with someone who doesn’t really have the spirit of God, there’s going to be a clash because the light and the darkness. When the darkness comes in, he is going to be irritated around you because of the light that you are emanating inside of you. It is the spirit of God that can irritate the demons and other people. That’s why Jesus every time he encountered with people with demonic entities he they would always say are you here to torment us and are you here to really cast that back to the hell.

So these are sometimes as much as I want to talk about physical looks and being healthy eating the right food going to the gym and also dealing with your soul. However, if you don’t have a good relationship with the one who created you and being really have the spirit of God in you, you cannot make a better version of yourself because Jesus said, “I and the father are one.” And it is the only reason why Jesus was able to fulfill his will by the father because he said to himself, “Not my will but yours will be done.”

So in our life if you want to also make a better version of yourself you must according to Jesus deny yourself pick up your cross and follow me and majority of our making yourself a better version is denial it is relinquishing your right to yourself this could look like addictions anything that does not align with your will from God so if God tells you you must not watch that then you should not you must not go there then you shouldn’t You must not drink that or you mustn’t go with that person. These are denying of yourself. This is why Jesus said if you want to be my disciples, you have to deny yourself from any indulgences that can harm you, any addictions, any impulses, anything that is going to make you really stumble and fall.

And that’s important because we think that as a Christian, we’re just going to be, well, I’m saved and I can just do whatever I want. Actually it’s a lot harder now because we are going to always be tempted and we have three different people that we have to deal with three different forces actually not people yourself is the number one enemy the world and of course the people and Satan right so when you say that making a better version of yourself there’s you are surrounded with so much temptation now and that’s why you think that your life will be much better once you become a Christian actually it’s a lot harder Because you have to resist all of this temptation that is surrounding you.

The things that you used to love and the things that you usually when God said remove that out of your life and you cannot do it apart from the spirit of God. So it is about surrendering. It’s about really letting go of the proclivity of controlling your life because it’s going to make you stumble and fall. That’s why when you really want to make a better version of yourself, you have to really make a do process of elimination of trying to think for yourself what are the habits that are making me stumble and fall and not really contributing to my future. And you must be decisive when it comes to deciding on which habits to keep and which one to eliminate. Maybe you have a habit of overly drinking or overly doing something that is not good to your body.

Maybe you’re very obsessive when it comes to things overworking yourself to just prove to be successful to other people. as we see a lot of hustle culture and working working and you know that’s because we have to strive for money but we have to be careful that in the Bible it says you cannot have two masters you cannot love God and mammon which is money which is God said you must be content of what you have and learn to be fulfilled with what God has given you because we came into this world with nothing and we will go back with nothing but this is where you come in as moderation is the key according to in Timothy you have to be content with food and clothing you must be content and simultaneously work towards a goal according to God’s plan and God’s purpose.